Foolish Paparazzi Risking Jessica Alba’s Wrath

December 30th, 2008 // 1 Comment

These cretins better get themselves some Kevlar and a flight to Prague, because you don’t cross this grump-faced harpy. Jessica Alba and her baby donor Cash Warren were trying to leave Bardot in LA last night when the cameras caught up with them.

Alba was actually smiling at the shutterbugs (she must have had some champs) until one of the paparazzi backed into Cash Warren’s GMC’s side mirror and broke it.

Shockingly, Alba didn’t exit the car to claw someone and bathe in their life’s blood. Cash did, and got huffy. Can’t blame him, but when the photographer in question wouldn’t surrender his busines card – Cash made a grab for the camera. He didn’t get it.

Things seemed to end without fisticuffs. Until Jessica sobers up and gets on her jet-powered broomstick, thirsting vengeance. She used that mirror, damnit!


These cretins better get themselves some Kevlar and a flight to Prague, because you don’t cross this grump-faced harpy. Jessica Alba and her baby donor Cash Warren were trying to leave Bardot in LA last night when the cameras caught up with them. Alba was actually smiling at the shutterbugs (she must have had some
champs) until one of the paparazzi backed into Cash Warren’s GMC’s side
mirror and broke it.Shockingly, Alba didn’t exit the car to claw someone and bathe in their life’s blood.
Cash did, and got huffy. Can’t blame him, but when the photographer in
question wouldn’t surrender his busines card – Cash made a grab for the
camera. He didn’t get it. Things seemed to end without
fisticuffs. Until Jessica sobers up and gets on her jet-powered
broomstick, thirsting vengeance. She used that mirror, damnit!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. ll

    Oh, har de har. Jessica Alba doesn’t smile enough for you (and half the time she’s smiling in the pics you link to when you pull out bullshit names like harpy and grumpy) or the paps, so you act like she’s some angry sociopath who would demand vengeance? I think there’s a couple of subhumans here worth being called names: none of them are Jessica Alba. One of them is definitely you. Why don’t bloggers like you realize most people don’t buy your stories, we understand that the paparazzi are out of control and act like thugs. We blame them and people like you and your bullshit names when celebrities aren’t smiling like fucking puppets you want them to be, we don’t sit around thinking, that Leo DiCaprio, I wish he’d smile more.

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