Flat Iron And Dannielynn Are Free, Virgie Consoling Herself With Canned Ham And White Russians

April 27th, 2007 // 8 Comments

(WENN)

Free! That baby is free! Free to live with the best hair-care products imaginable! Virgie Arthur’s last minute attempt to stall Dannielynn from leaving the Bahamas failed. Even the judge thinks she’s tired.

Virgie Arthur’s last-ditch appeal to block Dannielynn’s biological father from leaving the Bahamas with the infant has just been denied. And to add insult to injury, the judge verbally and financially smacked Arthur, calling the appeal “weak” and ordering her to pay $3,000 in attorney’s fees for wasting the court’s time.

At one point, the judge reportedly said that he was “perplexed” as to why the case even made it into his courtroom.

Someone tell the judge it’s because Virgie wanted the paper to upgrade her damn trailer to a double-wide. And maybe buy some of those lawn ornaments that look like a giant Christmas tree bulb on top of a birdbath. What the hell are those things? What’s wrong with people? Nevertheless, she ain’t gettin’ any.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. sassyne

    Finally, Dannielynn can get on with her life with her father. I do feel sorry for Howard. Hopefully Larry will let him see Dannielynn. I’m sure he’s attached to her. Regardless if he knew she wasn’t his, you can’t be with a baby day in and day out, take care of her, and be the only daddy she knows without developing true feelings for her. I hope her father raises her in love. I hope he keeps Virgie far away.

  2. rootabega

    but my god i hope she stays in the news, just so i can laugh at j harveys headlines! the BEST!!!

  3. jannre

    Hopefully she will lose in June when they go back to couty!

  4. DarthPaul

    Per the xmas bulb remark- are you referring to gazing balls? If so, they’re supposed to be with people with gardens. Basically, a semi-panoramic mirror…but rednecks seem to get them just because whether they have gardens or not.

    Also, J, you seem rather intimately familiar with hillbilly/redneck culture. E tu, Bubba? I was married to one for 10yrs, so it’s ok if I point and laugh. I’VE DONE MY TIME, DAMMIT!

  5. DarthPaul

    Per the xmas bulb remark- are you referring to gazing balls? If so, they’re supposed to be with people with gardens. Basically, a semi-panoramic mirror…but rednecks seem to get them just because whether they have gardens or not.

    Also, J, you seem rather intimately familiar with hillbilly/redneck culture. E tu, Bubba? I was married to one for 10yrs, so it’s ok if I point and laugh. I’VE DONE MY TIME, DAMMIT!

  6. DarthPaul

    Per the xmas bulb remark- are you referring to gazing balls? If so, they’re supposed to be with people with gardens. Basically, a semi-panoramic mirror…but rednecks seem to get them just because whether they have gardens or not.

    Also, J, you seem rather intimately familiar with hillbilly/redneck culture. E tu, Bubba? I was married to one for 10yrs, so it’s ok if I point and laugh. I’VE DONE MY TIME, DAMMIT!

  7. rootabega

    GAZING BALLS?? WHO ARE YOU!?!?!

  8. Tonysgirl

    You guys crack me up….lol Hillbillies and gazing balls!!!!! rofl.

    Vergie wants that baby cause she sees that child as a meal ticket to KFC for the rest of life…lol.

Leave A Comment