FINALLY! The Baby-Daddy Mystery Will Be Solved!

March 21st, 2007 // 11 Comments


After all the hemming and hawing and judges bawling and getting high in public, Dannielynn, Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, is on her way to get DNA-tested to reveal the identity of her father. TMZ reports that that a judge in the Bahamas ordered that Dannielynn undergo a paternity test, which could take up to four days to process, according to MSNBC.

Since I’ve finally already resigned myself to the fact that it’s biologically and logistically impossible that I could be the father, I’m sort of over the whole “results” thing. But at least I’ll be getting some closure, which is a poor substitute for the millions of dollars for which I was hoping, but I guess it’s better than nothing.

By Lisa Timmons

  1. Jinxy McDeath

    No matter who wins the baby daddy lotto, Danilynn loses. Sad.

  2. dgo

    it is sad. has there been any commentary on whether or not the baby has been tested for drugs in her system? I imagine if Anna Nicole was doped up during pregnancy that the baby’s got to have suffered because of it. just wondering…

  3. nanners

    Wasn’t The Baby Daddy Mystery a story on Murder She Wrote?

  4. -A

    $20 bucks its Darth Vader! He is everybody’s father.

  5. me

    I knew a kid who was a real sweetheart… good sense of humor, but he was blind. And he had a touch of autism. None of those thing had to happen, but because his mother was a drunk, drug taking whorebag who only thought of herself, he as a baby suffered. If not for other loving family members, the kid could’ve ended up in a mess. But thanks to love and support and great teachers, he’s doing great.

    I hope Dannielynn gets the same great treatment, because from what I’ve heard she’s already starting to show signs of fetal alcohol syndrome, among other things. God only knows.

    Sometimes, it’s better to sterlize assholes before they breed. Pete Doherty; Kate Moss; Britney Spears; Anna Nicole Smith; Lindsey Lohan….. and countless NON celebrities. The list goes on. Though ANS died, which is justice enough for me. Slutty meatsack.

  6. MJK

    baby daddy lotto…THAT’s FUnny!

    Do feel bad for that baby though. Sometimes, the worst thing for kids, are parents.

  7. Miss Know-It-All

    It certainly wouldn’t surprise me if the baby is developmentally delayed
    I was not a big ANS fan by any means, but she made a lot of bad choices because: the poor girl wasn’t very bright, she came from a HIGHLY dysfunctional family and she never stopped looking for love in all the wrong places. I’m not defending or excusing her; I think she should have been sterilzed at 16! She was a victim as much as Dannielynn.

  8. jannre

    I hope Larry is the dad, I don’t trust Howard, he couldn’t keep Anna safe, what with him pushing drugs on her all the time, so I don’t see him keeping the baby safe either…


  10. edna

    could it be danniel the father?i dont know what to think at this point.

  11. edna

    could it be danniel the father?i dont know what to think at this point.

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