“Fantastic Four” Does Well, I React by Being an “Unenthused One”

The latest installment of the “Fantastic Four” film series, “Rise of the Silver Surfer” was the number one movie over the weekend in North American ticket sales, doing even better than the “Fantastic Four” film that preceded it. In its first three days, “Fantastic Four” grossed $56 million, whereas the sequel has raked in $57.4 million, according to senior vice president of distribution for 20th Century Fox, Chris Aronson.

“We did fantastically, pun intended,” Aronson said. “The silver lining is that it outperformed the first one. It worked from Fairbanks to Fort Lauderdale and everywhere in between. It worked in big cities. It worked in small towns.”

Ugh. Great. Just what I need. More success for Jessica Alba. I’m so glad I don’t have to hang out with that girl. I can imagine the conversation would be a lot of, “God, you’re so lucky not to be as BEAUTIFUL as I am. I can’t tell you how annoying it is that my breasts are are perky and my lips are plump. If someone tosses any more money at me to strut around in tight outfits, I’m going to kill myself.” To which I’d have to reply, “Would you like some help?”


Tags: Jessica Alba