Fake

August 14th, 2007 // 11 Comments

(Images courtesy of BuzzFoto.com)

Recently, you may have noticed that Paris Hilton is carrying children and wearing demure bathing suits and avoiding the clubs. What is this, you ask? Did prison change her for the better? Is she on a more meaningful path in life? Is she looking inward rather than seeking gratification from flashbulbs, threeways, and smoking giant blunts with her cokehead bitch posse? Actually, no. She realized that she needed some damage control after going to prison and sought the help of a special damage control-type PR firm. She’s the same ole’ Paris, but trying to fool our asses.

After Hilton’s stint in jail, she abandoned longtime publicist Elliot Mintz for Sitrick, who’s handled Ryan Phillipe, Rush Limbaugh and Naomi Campbell during their own scandals. Since then, in addition to dressing more like a classy socialite and avoiding late-night stumbles out of Hollywood clubs, Hilton – who now parties away from the cameras in her Malibu house – has stopped her longtime habit of chatting with photographers.

One of Paris’ usual photogs said that he can tell it’s hard for her to avoid the flashbulbs. She was like a giant blond moth with those flashbulbs. I give this about three months. Then she will get bored and start making that stupid open-mouthed face on the red carpet and doing sex gymnastics with multiple partners on the hoods of Bentleys while covered in champagne. And whoever let her hold their baby should be jailed!

By J. Harvey
  1. hahaha they should be jailed and not “paris hilton jailed” real jailed.

  2. LoRider

    Question.

    Why is that fatassed Perez Hilton’s picture on your site?

    Isn’t he/she the enemy? Even if not, he/she’s an f-ing tool who provides no meaningful contribution to life. In fact, I kinda hope he/she dies. Two minutes later, it would be like he/she never existed.

    Ride Lo

  3. T-Bone

    I like how all of these celebrities fire their long time publicists for their own bad behavior.

  4. peachpie

    jailed…. ha!

  5. Zekers

    Yeah, I agree LoRider…he is such pig…a big, pink pig. I vote for removing that photo of the world’s first living abortion from this website.

  6. Zekers

    Oh, and Paris…I’m sure she hasn’t changed her ways she’s just more discrete, for the time being. Wonder how long her new rep. will work for her before he fires himself?! Simple Life indeed!

  7. 2 Old 4 This

    Its always so interesting to learn how the other half lives.
    Rich people hire high profile PR consultants to teach them how to behave responsibly.

    us poor folk….well, we just have parents

  8. newfgirl

    Thank you, New York Post for pointing out the obvious. Otherwise, we would never know.

  9. cummi bear

    “Rich people hire high profile PR consultants to teach them how to behave responsibly.

    us poor folk….well, we just have parents”

    a-fucking-men, 2 old 4 this…

  10. Giddy

    Where’s that Halfway House for former residents of Lynwood jail she promised??

  11. HalfWayGirl

    Hey, whatever happened to that HalfWay House you promised me after your ‘ordeal’ was over???

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