Hi. J. Harvey here. Last week, I was pleasantly surprised to get an e-mail in my box. It was an invite to a party. At Pure – the hot-ass club in Vegas. You know – where Britney “fell asleep”? None other than Jenna Jameson was throwing the party! Ah yeah, JENNA JAMESON. Adult film star, author, fantasy of millions? For her fine ass Ultimate Fighting Champion boyfriend Tito Ortiz’s birthday! Fantasy of me? Yeah, seriously. And I’m new to this whole hobnobbing with the whole hot and famous and I’ll go to the opening of a damn envelope. But this was a HUGE FRIGGIN’ ENVELOPE! PURE! PORN STARS! PARTY! Uh, so I went.
I’ve been out in Vegas before, but never out out like drinking for 72 hours straight out. We went to Jet at the Mirage the night before, and that place was hot. Literally, because some girl set the bar on fire by accident. Weird. Good DJ, though. DJ Crooked? Anyway, it was nothing compared to the scene at Pure. Remember the Fall of Saigon? Yeah, Pure was the helicopter in that scenario. Scores of people trying to get into this place and see Jenna. Red carpet chock full of adult film stars, photographers, and beautiful people bargaining, pleading and wheedling with man mountain bouncers to get in. The wait for the regular rabble to get in was about two hours. And it wove through the casino. The place is full-on.
Read on for MORE exclusive photos of the hotness that is Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz, and J. Harvey discovering Pure’s table service which is a gift from the Lord above for a filthy alcoholic like him.
So, I rolled up, wormed my way to a bouncer and proudly announced my name and A Socialite’s Life (hey, it’s possible he’s read us) and waited for the velvet rope to part and allow me passage into Hot People Land. Uh, yeah no. Not on the list. Holy shit. Drenching humiliation. And while I was sorting this shit out, they led Jenna Jameson and Tito past me to the red carpet and I was fumbling with my camera and god, she’s hotter in person than on film and she had this hot haircut (jesus, I’m gayer than Christmas) and the situation was imploding around me. My second exclusive was turning to ruination right before my eyes. I managed some crappy pics of them on the red carpet but I had to piss off some security guards to do it. Anyway, somehow through a confluence of events my name suddenly appeared on the list. Maybe the first guy I went to had reading difficulty. Prick.
Anyway, the club is all ultra rock em sock em. Several rooms, complete with a terrace with a hot view of the Las Vegas strip. As for the club-goers, 75% of the people are The Beautiful Ones and the other 25% are nepotism or have scads of scratch. We’ll focus on the good 75%. I’m sure I looked like nepotism but I get hotter as you get drunker. Mark Ronson was spinning, and his set was tight. Porn stars writhed. Someone told me Kriss Angel Mindfreak was there, hopefully making that first bouncer die magically. Grey Goose flowed. And I finally met up with the amazing Joy, one of Jenna’s PR people – who quickly whisked me away to the Pussycat Dolls area for a “special surprise”. I was in a group with Joy and Scott – Jenna’s crack PR apparatus and other assorted beautiful people. As we crowded before the curtained stage, I looked to the left of me. And Tito Ortiz was there. Sitting about a foot from me, and filling a chair with muscular hotness and waiting for something. Holy shit. And I quickly snapped a pic, which I swear I didn’t fondle myself to later. A couple of the Vegas dolls lead Tito’s fine ass on stage for a surprise. Which was Jenna, popping out of a gift box to the tune of JT’s “SexyBack”, in a Pussycat Dolls costume and giving Tito the lap dance of a lifetime. I’m gay and I think I might have had wood. There’s a reason why she’s a professional in that area of expertise. Cameras popped, people cheered. And you know what? For an adult entertainer and a guy who’s living is to beat the shit out of people – there was a definite sweetness to it. It was almost…touching. Awwww.
Anyway, then the party was on. I’m a bumpkin, so this was my first time with the whole table service deal. You mean they GIVE you your OWN bottles of VODKA? And mixers? At your table? No waiting in line. For every poor Irish drunk in the world, I hit the ground running. God bless you, Jenna Jameson. Jenna, who I was told I could meet. Uh, really? Holy shite.
As I sat with Scott Hoover, Jenna’s head of PR, he filled me in on all the goings-on and was cool enough to answer all my questions about the world of Jenna. And unlike my impression of PR guys/girls as parrot-souled talking heads, I found Scott to be different. He was very up front and easy to talk to. If he and Joy are any indication of the type of people Jenna employs, then she’s probably a cool, stand-up person.
Scott cleared up the rumor about Jenna and Paris supposedly doing a reality show together where they help people lose their virginity. Not true. Jenna and Paris are actually good friends and shopping buddies, but that was made up and leaked by the people interested in doing the show (three guesses). Jenna didn’t seem to care, Paris is her friend and she doesn’t mind Paris or her people or the people interested in doing the show (make of that what you will) vampiring a few column inches off her. Friends with Paris, who knew Jenna was into charity work? Jesus, she’s a pornographic Mother Theresa. I also asked Scott about Jenna’s statements about Scarjo playing her in the movie version of Jenna’s book. Which Jenna is working on full steam ahead. Scott was a little cagey about that one, but did allude to the fact that Scarlett didn’t exactly deny it. And also stated that Jenna has (obviously) lived a very interesting life and been through a lot. And a role like that, if handled right and taken seriously, could win Scarlett Johanssen an Oscar. Those are big words, but he was dead serious. And stranger things have happened. Oh, and it’s true; Jenna is through with porn but has films in storage to keep everyone bonered up for some time to come.
Scott was a veritable fountain of dish. He’s been in the PR game for quite some time, and I think we’d all benefit from an interview with his ass. In fact, I got so entranced with talking to him about what Hollywood’s really like, I was too late to get my pic taken with Jenna. DAMN! I’m a friggin’ crack reporter, huh? Anyway, you never know. Maybe I’ll get invited to her next soiree. Guys? *crickets* God, I knew I shouldn’t have tried to put the Grey Goose bottle under my shirt when I left. If its any consolation, I did get robbed by a hooker afterwards so there was some karmic debt to be paid.
Anyway, HUGE HUGE THANKS to Joy Miller and Scott Hoover of the Bohle Company for making it all happen and giving a little troll of a gossip blogger his second exclusive ever.