‘TOWIE’ Couple Sam Faiers And Joey Essex Get Fifty Shades Of Kinky [PHOTOS]

It’s crystal clear at this point how much I enjoy sitting through a marathon of The Only Way Is Essex.  These days, whenever I see pictures of the cast (be it Nanny Pat, Mark Wright or Lauren Goodger), I go batty.  Yes, I’m a few seasons behind, but I’m also American and TOWIE doesn’t air on television in the states.  So there.

Reality couple Joey Essex and Sam Faiers took part in a Fifty Shades Of Grey shoot for Now Magazine (via Mr. Paparazzi).  So why did they do it?

“Let’s just say we’re a very sexually active couple,” Joey told the magazine.

Sam added that they do enjoy a good roll in the hay, but she’s not well-versed in bondage. “I like all of it,” she said.  “We should get some of these props! Maybe not a whip, but a blindfold could be good.”

“We’d never cheat on each other,” Joey said.  “But if I did it would be that blonde from High School Musical [looks her up on his iphone]. Ashley Tisdale, yeah that’s her.”


Moving on to something a bit more G-rated: Dear old chocolate-covered Nanny Pat.   Today (August 28th) the old gal celebrated the release of her book, Penny Sweets and Cobbled Streets: My East End Childhood at Mayfair Exchange in London England.

Meanwhile, Jessica Wright (Mark’s sister) and Lauren Pope (Kirk’s ex-girlfriend), shook their Essex makers on the mad, mad island of Ibiza.  This vacation is what the fillies spend their entire year preparing for.  Every spray tan, every fake eyelash, every hair extension, every painted nail and every fancy-dress party is all for this one holiday.  Once it was Marbella (“No carbs before Marbs”), and now it’s Ibiza.

Good God, Jessica.  Is that a belly button ring?

I’ve got TOWIE fever, and I don’t care who knows it!