Eminem is Free

December 20th, 2006 // Leave a Comment

E! reports that Marshall Mathers is back on the market, ladies. This is the second time he’s been divorced from Kim.

The Detroit rapper’s second divorce from Kim Mathers was made official Tuesday after the estranged couple appeared at a brief settlement hearing in Macomb County Circuit Court, area newspapers report.

Eminem and Mathers will share legal and physical custody of 10-year-old daughter Hailie Jade Scott, who turns 11 on Christmas day.

The lowlights of their first union, which lasted from June 1999 until October 2001, included Eminem’s fierce lyrics on his Slim Shady LP tune “Kim,” in which he threatened to off his wife, Mathers’ suicide attempt in 2000 and her subsequent lawsuit seeking $10 million for the emotional distress her husband’s music caused her.

Em’s now free to romance some other lucky lady, and then write and record a beautiful love song about killing her and stuffing her in his trunk. Maybe he can find someone more in tune with his metrosexual ways. I read he’s really into going to spas and stuff. And you know how he moons people all the time? Well, his butt looks a little….waxed. I would go farther with this ridicule but he once threatened to kill a puppet so I’m not taking any chances.

By J. Harvey
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