Elin Nordegren Impersonated Tiger Via Text

January 25th, 2010 // 6 Comments

Two sources corroborated a minute-by-minute report to the Daily Beast of what really went down at the Woods household on Thanksgiving. It turns out, Elin Nordegren went straight up middle school on Tiger Woods, impersonating him in text messages from his phone to one of his many mistresses, Rachel Uchitel.

Mind you, this whole incident was prompted after Elin’s concern over an upcoming National Enquirer article that claimed an affair between Uchitel and Woods. So he thought it might be a good idea to put the two ladies on the phone in an effort to prove to his wife the relationship was platonic (while also proving he knows nothing about women). An enterprising Elin then did some texting while he was konked out on Ambien.

“I miss you,” she wrote to Uchitel. “When I am going to see you again?”

Doesn’t it take you back to those preteen days when you impersonated people on fake AIM accounts? Oh…maybe that’s just me.

After some compromising answers, Nordegren called her up to which Uchitel could only reply, “Fuck.” Nordegren woke Tiger up, screaming at him, after which Tiger sent Uchitel a panicky text warning Uchitel that Elin had found out about the affair and suggesting that divorce was in his future. Elin quickly found this text (as well as a golf club) and you know what happens next.

Nordegren was most recently pictured getting lunch with her
children at a Thai restaurant in Orlando. She reportedly just spent the
last five days with Tiger at the Gentle Path sex rehab in Mississippi
and returned to Orlando yesterday. 

By Lola Robertson

  1. CLB

    Tiger Woods does not deserve a good, decent wife like Elin Nordegren or his beautiful children. He is selfish, shameless and has no moral principles. He has deceived, betrayed and humiliated his family in front of the world. May he and all his mistresses rot in hell for all the pain and shame they have caused Elin Nordegren and two innocent children

  2. GM

    Wow, what a story.


  3. hoosiermom

    Great story! Elin rocks. Suck it, Tiger.

  4. Jennifer B

    Wonderful story my ass. She is just a whore like the others, just higher priced. Tiger is better off without the slut.

  5. mel

    Jennifer B I think you are a bit confussed THIS IS HIS WIFE!!!!!!!! That he made a promise to in front of GOD!!! and has 2 children with. HELLO??? What your saying isnt working sorry try again.

  6. Carol

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again!!

    Tiger, you’re all washed up pink pad!

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