Eddie Murphy Claiming He’s a Shoe-In to Play The Godfather of Soul

Eddie Murphy’s gotta be ecstatic right now, because that sumbitch hasn’t had this much ink since he helped out the chick with a dick. Anyway, Access Hollywood is reporting that he’s claiming James Brown hand-picked him to portray him if a movie ever got made.

“James Brown said to me years ago ‘If they ever do my life, you got to play my story,'” he recounted to Access’ Shaun Robinson this weekend. “I said, ‘James, if I do you, people will be laughing.’ [He said] ‘They ain’t gonna laugh if you don’t try to be funny.'”

Murphy told Access he’s a bit too senior to play the early days of the legendary and limber soul star who was known for his fits of athleticism on stage.

“I couldn’t do James Brown now until he got [to] 40, ’cause I’m 45,” he laughed. “I’ll be 46 in April and I’m not doin’ no splits and no sh** like that and rippin’ my ass out tryin’ to make no movie. The split days are gone.”

That’s the most graphic description of someone doing a split that I’ve ever heard. I’m sure if that was the way splits were done, no one would be doing them. Parents would tell small children that to dissuade them from taking gymnastics. We would never have heard of Mary Lou Retton or Kerri Strug or Shrug or whatever that dwarfish girl’s name was. Anyway, good luck on the movie, Ed. Jesus.

Tags: Eddie Murphy