Don’t Be Fooled By This Photo

August 28th, 2007 // 20 Comments

What an obvious set-up this is. She can’t read! Sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan is acting the fool in rehab again.

I don’t know how accurate these reports are, seeing as she looked fairly serene and happy during her wilderness walk of last week and she did release that statement. Then again, how do you tell when a junkie’s lying?

Supposedly, she got caught doing drugs and getting after it in a bathroom stall. How unusual for her. That’s not like Lindsay at all.

“Lindsay got called into the director’s office on Aug. 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn’t conform to the program she’d have to leave.”

Keep reading for more details of Lohan’s rehab hijinks. it’s like Police Academy but in rehab!

More photos of Lindsay Lohan getting her pose in in rehab after the jump.

What an obvious set-up this is. She can’t read! Sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan is acting the fool in rehab again.

I don’t know how accurate these reports are, seeing as she looked
fairly serene and happy during her wilderness walk of last week and she
did release that statement.Then again, how do you tell when a junkie’s lying?

Supposedly, she got caught doing drugs and getting after it in a
bathroom stall. How unusual for her. That’s not like Lindsay at all.

“Lindsay got called into the director’s office on Aug. 15
and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she
reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director
before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn’t conform
to the program she’d have to leave.”

She’s also reported to have sneaked out of the facility to have sex, bought some refreshing Miller Light, has been showing up late to meetings, and to have nixed doing chores. Just let her go do what she wants. It’s not like anyone’s rushing to hire her.

She went to the booze pokey because her lawyer or her adviser or whatever said she had to and it was the only way to salvage whatever image she had left. She doesn’t want to be there! She wants to huff exhaust fumes and shoot paint thinner and do multiple guys. Let her go for the record. Then at the very end, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

And that light is named Ms. Tara Reid. And Tara will be waiting to talk to her at the counter of an IHOP in the Valley. And she’ll remind Lohan that she once worked with the Coen brothers, and was in a hugely successful film called American Pie.

And it all went to her head and she started drinking and pretty soon it was plastic surgery disasters and tits out on the red carpet. And she’ll tousle Lindsay’s hair, and hold her to her bosom and Lohan will then finally understand. And she will weep with the realization that she’s not in control of her life anymore.

Thank you, Ms. Tara Reid.

(Image source)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. 1) Très choqué!! Not.

    2) I’m with J. Harvey. Let this spoiled little chickie flush her life down the toilet. 3rd times a charm.

  2. Elle

    Wasn’t she reading some crap book abour tornados in that picture?

  3. nymphetomine

    One word :actress. OK six more words: and not a very good one.

  4. skinny fat

    If Hohan were in a REAL rehab, they’d have thrown her ass out already. Do the rehabs she goes to realize what a crappy rep they have after she leaves “cured?”

  5. Sara

    Why don’t these people realize that rehab doesn’t work if the person doesn’t want to be cured. You can’t just go to rehab and then poof, you are off drugs. You have to do it yourself. My friend went to rehab. He left in a week because all they told you to do was to surrender yourself to a higher power, come to meetings and get group hugs. He left then cleaned himself up. (He actually went to the same one Whitney Houston went to, though she wasn’t there when he went.) Rehab is the worst place to go to get off drugs if you don’t want to get off drugs.

  6. green cardigan

    She’s obviously not able to get her usual shade of orange tanner over there in Utah. She’s looking rather yellow.

  7. sammi

    The saddest thing is she just turned 21 and more then likely screw up again probably ending her career and possibly her life.

  8. courtney

    she’ll get out and screw up again. its just going to happen. she was forced to go. she wont change. she’ll be doing blow at age 50 like her mom does.

  9. ddparking

    Her best move at this point would be to hire a really excellent money manager to be sure that what funds she has now will be invested well as to last the rest of her life… At this point she would be lucky to get a leading role in a Troma movie but that’s about it. No offense intended to Troma…

  10. T-Bone

    Grace Slick (long time ago rock and roller with Jefferson Starship/Jefferson Airplane)said something that makes perfect sense. She said if someone would have told her to go to rehab in her twenties, she basically would have laughed them off and snorted another line. She said the only way for rehab to be succesful is when someone chooses to go, and they have enough wisdom and experience to realize that they have no other alternatives. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have ANY of these qualifications.

  11. how did she get liquor in utah. I thought that was the equivelancy or trying to get anything on a sunday in the east.

    Maybe shes addicted to sex makes her feel wanted something else they should be looking at. Cant they have a court sanctioned one where she cant leave.

  12. Miguelito

    I can understand why she doesn’t take rehab seriously. She’s not an addict. Her problem goes way deeper than booze. She is smart and sensitive, but has a death wish. Now she is taking revenge on the world for spoiling her innocence and is slipping into madness. Like I said, it goes deep. The “seven demons” that Jesus cast out of Mary Magdalene have taken possession of this ginger hellcat.

  13. T-Bone

    “The “seven demons” that Jesus cast out of Mary Magdalene have taken possession of this ginger hellcat”
    ———————————————–
    So funny!

  14. Kelly

    What a hilarious article — I’m picturing Tara Reid pouring coffee for a washed-up, forgotten Lindsey at an IHOP. I am new here — can someone tell me what “after the jump” means?

  15. Kelly

    Oh, and I forgot to add: that picture of her “reading” looks completely posed. Note the Mother Theresa look on her face as she contemplates the wisdom within! The good news is she remembered to hold the book right-side up.

  16. your conscience

    You ridiculous people. You human vultures. You examples of devolution. You bored bougouisies. You perpetrators of the 4th reich. You embracers of judgement and spoilers of lives. You reasons for armageddon. You displacers. You causes of the situation.

    I hope she gets better. Don’t you?

  17. Kelly

    your conscience: I hope you get better, too.

  18. ddparking

    Kelly – “after the jump” means after you click and JUMP to the next page…

  19. Parker

    This is pathetic…. she is pathetic… Seriously, these young actresses need to get a grip. Normally I’m the first one to feel sypmathy for them but it’s totally absurd now. They are throwing their lives down the toilet and for what? To look and feel important? They look stupid and trashy! I have no respect for them and never will. What happened to class and glamour in hollywood? There is nothing classy or glamorous about any of these young girls. They all look like TRASH. Hollywood used to be a place where we looked up at and admired fine actors… it’s a joke now, b/c of them. They don’t even KNOW what real problems are. I seriously wish they would all grow up and take responsibilites for their actions. We’ve all overcome adversity in our lives with much more grace than they have displayed.

  20. The Tooter of Lindsay Blohan

    your conscience: You princes of Maine. You kings of New England.

    http://www.myspace.com/blohanstooter

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