Don’t Eat The Parrot, David Hasselhoff!

Ah, sir Mitch Buchanon.  We are having a laugh and a half with that pet parrot, aren’t we?  For a moment, we thought you were going to bite its head off!  Nay, you’re simply kissing the bird.

PHOTOS: David Hasselhoff Makes Such A Lovely Pirate

The Daily Mail reports that David Hasselhoff is planning to purchase a house near his Welsh girlfriend’s hometown for just under $2 million.  The Hoff, 57, has been dating shop assistant Hayley Roberts, 31, since she asked for his autograph earlier this year at a Britain’s Got Talent audition in Cardiff, Wales.  The couple took part in a Baywatch photoshoot for HELLO! Magazine…and it was absurd.  Roberts told the British mag that she’s a bit confused about their status: “After he says, ‘I love you’ he says, ‘That just means I really like you. So I don’t know if he means it or not.”

Oh.  Ok.