Donald Trump’s Open Letter To Martha Stewart

February 22nd, 2006 // 21 Comments

The ego has landed people. It’s hard for Donald to sit back and let bygones by bygones. Martha made the mistake of blaming Donald Trump‘s insistence of running his version of The Apprentice the same season as hers. Martha, do we have a rebuttal?

“Dear Martha:

It’s about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it – and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance – much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records.

Despite this, I did nothing but positively promote you. Your only response to your failed show was that, “I thought that I was supposed to fire Donald Trump!” You knew this was not true – NBC would never fire me when The Apprentice was, for a good period of time, the #1 show on television and my recent finale, where I hired Randal, was the #2 show for the week, easily beating the competing finale of Amazing Race and others. Even Mark Burnett said, “Thank God that didn’t happen,” when asked about firing Donald Trump.

Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is – that was more obvious. Putting your show on the air was a mistake for everybody – especially NBC.

In any event, my great loyalty to you has gone totally unappreciated.


Donald J. Trump

P.S. Be careful or I will do a syndicated daytime show, perhaps called The Boardroom, and further destroy the meager ratings you already have!”

That’s saying a lot for someone’s whose ratings were down 25% this last season. Although, we do pretty much agree with everything that he said.

Trump Skewers Stewart in Open Letter [People]

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. spitty

    Aboslutely scathing. I love it when rich people who shouldn’t have anything to crow about crow loudly like the true b*tches they are.

  2. DJ

    One word….


  3. Dr. tia

    The only time I watched the apprentice is when Omarossa was on the show. I think that was the only good season. I’m surprised either one of their shows was on air this long. He shouldn’t talk. The apprentice isn’t that great. Also his wife is stunnung. Carmen Electra needs to be kissing her instead of Victoria Silvstedt.

  4. spitty

    I think Melania is overrated.

  5. Kelsey

    OMG!! TIA, YOU DID IT!!! You caught on to the bashing!! Good girl, I’m so proud!

  6. Brenda

    Your captions are always brilliant.

    It’s funny, your site provides all the best (up-to-the-minute) news without the nasty vibe that’s over at that Hilton site. Your advertisers are also a lot more credible and worth checking out.

    Thank you.

  7. QueenB

    LOL at Kelsey.

    I think Melania is permanently stuck in that pose.

  8. Nicolle

    Whatever…this is such a blatant ploy to drive ratings for his own show which begins a new season on February 27. One word – EGOMANIAC. It’s too bad his show completely sucks.

  9. Jim

    When Trump gets his disgusting hair fixed he can start talking trash about other people.

  10. GirlyGirl

    Dear Donald,

    I may have hired my daughter, I may have letter writing segments, and I may have lied my ass off about the ImClone stock.


    I run a megamillion dollar corporation WITHOUT the necessity of a pretty little Boy Toy scampering around behind me (replaced every 5 years) to validate my sexuality.

    I wear my own hair, which is vibrant and bouncy and quite attractive actually.

    And finally, I didn’t just jump into an established marketplace (like oh, say, real estate) and make my fortune. No, I actually CREATED one. I elevated the Art of Domesticity to a billion dollar industry and one through which I was able to marry my company with one of America’s leading retailers.

    You buy and sell real estate and Trump Water. You peddle in casinos. I sell paint. And sheets. And towels. And books. And cookware. I am in nearly every home in Middle America. I am not just a daytime television show that you can bash, Mr. Trump. I’m an empire.

    And it will take a lot more than your ‘kick’em when they are down’ attack (which speaks volumes to your character) to topple my dynasty.

    Some day, you will be a bald, overweight, unattractive man who will be left with nothing to cling to but a cold checkbook and a littany of alimony payments.

    I, on the other hand, will cozy up next to my hearth with a warm mug of cider, pull my Martha Stewart cashmere blanket up to my chest, eat a tasty blueberry muffin made from homegrown ingredients, and laugh my ass off knowing that I am twice the man you’ll ever be.

    You’ve got a problem with me?
    Bring. It. On. Bitch.

    It’s a Good Thing,


  11. B

    I love GirlyGirl.

  12. lisa

    melania trump always looks like she just smelled something foul.

  13. Anna

    Absolutely fantastic, Girly Girl!!

  14. Kelsey

    GirlyGirl Rocks my socks!! That pretty much made my day!!

  15. susiesneds


  16. jo

    I thought Donald Trump and Martha Stewart were good friends. On The Apprentice, Donald Trump normally rewards people for their loyalty. I have just lost some respect for The Donald – I was a fan of both Apprentice shows, his and Martha’s – now I am not pleased that Donald Trump would disrespect Martha publicly. Since Donald Trump was a producer shouldn’t he also take some responsibility for the “failure” of Martha’s show? If this were a task on The Apprentice, Donald would point the finger at the person/people ultimately responsible for a failure – thus I would think a producer would be sure the show was everything it needed to be to make for “successful television”. Tsk Tsk Donald…shame on you for not overseeing the project properly in the first place…he knew his name was attached and if the show failed, so did Donald Trump – it is not Donald’s first failure, and it won’t be his last.

  17. “Revenge is good. “When a person screws you, screw them back 15 times over.”

    “When somebody hurts you, go after them as viciously and as violently as you can.”

    He is known for this – and frankly, he is probably the only person to ever stand up to Martha Stewart – her show was miserable – a poor excuse – it was a bore – and for her to blame him is ridiculous. I like him and i think he’s an amazing business man. Martha can keep her muffins.

  18. CanadaRules!

    GirlyGirl’s “letter” was right on target. Trump came from money, he didn’t build his “empire” from the ground up. When it comes to disses, Martha didn’t diss him until he started blaming the poor ratings for his Apprentice on the bad ratings of Martha’s version–talk about trying to blame others for your failures, Donald. Does he really believe that people mistook Martha’s version for his? That they thought it was suddenly on twice a week? Whatever. He is such an egomaniacal hypocrite. As for his wife, Melania and Donald look the same–has anybody else noticed this? Their faces (and their facial expressions) are extremely similar. This is probably why he “chose” her. When I hear her described as a supermodel, I have to laugh: what modelling (much less “supermodelling”) did she do? Unless, she consciously adopts The Donald’s sour squinty facial expressions, thus “modelling” herself after the man she “loves”. Cindy Crawford and Linda E and Naomi are “supermodels”. Melania ain’t. Also, she looks like a plastic catwoman. A slightly better-looking version of that Wildenstein (?)creature.

  19. Cynthia

    GirlyGirl, he already IS a bald, fat, unattractive man! (Ugly combover)
    Melania always looks like she’s scowling. Is that somehow supposed to be attractive?

  20. Mrs. Mia Wallace

    Girly Girl, you are my hero, Martha would be proud

  21. Kathy

    Why is it that most of the quality television programs which are not watched by mainstrean America are cancelled? Trump’s comments are completely unjustified. My three boys and I eagerly anticipated each task and couldn’t wait to see who was the next to be “let go”! Martha is a “class act” and her challenges were exciting, inventive, and downright fun. Martha, please give us another season!!!! P.S. Dawna was boring and predictable. You should have picked Jim or Bethaney!

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