Doesn’t Regis Philbin Have This Issue?

Jack Nicholson has quite a few children, most of them of the “love” variety. A new book is saying that he has an additional one that remains unacknowledged. All I know is that he’s rumored to have a helluva art collection and made sure his pay for “Batman” included a cut of all the merchandising and the box office gross. This guy’s crafty as hell.

In “Five Easy Decades,” an unauthorized biography out this October from Wiley, author Dennis McDougal says the Oscar-winning wild man is known “by most counts” to have one legitimate daughter and five love children.

But, the book claims, “There are two other possibles whom those closest to Jack whisper about, including one young man who lives with handicaps brought on by his actress mother’s drug abuse . . . These are among the closely held secrets he has generally succeeded in keeping from his fans.” He doesn’t identify either.

Nicholson’s lawyer denies this claim. Jack’s supposed to have five illegimate kids, but the lawyer says it’s only four. So someone isn’t a mathlete or something fishy is going on. Jack better not be pulling a Travolta and not acknowledging a kid because he’s disabled. That pisses me off. You don’t see parents like Neil Young pulling that shit. It’s not gonna put the kibosh on your career or anything. Jerks.