‘Dexter’ Recap: Take It

After the screw up at Club Mayan, our favorite woman in charge LaGuerta is looking to wiggle out of another cluster cuss. How this woman still has a job with Miami Metro after five seasons is beyond me, but all the same she isn’t willing to take the hit this time around. Masuka summed it up with, “Oh no, I’ve seen that look on her face before…”.

Dexter and Lumen are on the hunt for their next kill, Cole Harmon. He is an ex marine with a history of dishonorable discharge and is now bodyguard to douche canoe Jordon Chase, motivational speaker extraordinaire. How do I know he is a total douche? He wears his blue tooth twenty-four-seven, hell he may even wear it in the tub. Played by Johnny Lee Miller of Trainspotting fame, he is a creepy and well executed character.

Chase calls Dexter up to his suite to discuss Rita’s death and tries to keep him chipper about the whole mess with some primal instinct motivational bullshit. This dude knows a little too much about Rita’s murder and not enough about fashion. He even knows Harrison’s name, which can’t be a good sign.

Let’s talk about the convention. Fatty McGee’s pregnant M.I.L.F. wife? Totally staged by convention professionals. Dexter’s story while on stage about finding Rita’s lifeless corpse was of course messed up, but it wasn’t a mistake. Chase wanted to capitalize more on that exploitation than just book royalties. He can sense Dexter as a threat just as much as Dexter knows he is a fraud.

Did anyone else rewind their DVR to count how many times Deb dropped the F-bomb on LaGuerta in her office? And this wasn’t even before she screwed Deb up the ass, who I’m pretty sure would have popped a cap if she would have known that she was going to get the punishment Masuka so elegantly described earlier.

Lumen’s nerdy ex-fiance Owen is in town. But damn it if the guy isn’t trying! He is pathetically adorable, buying Lumen a first class ticket around the world and trying to support her dreams. Too bad he doesn’t know that she is now damaged, nay ruined goods and only a cracked shell remains. On the upside, he may have inadvertently dodged a bullet.

Lumen’s breakdown during Cole Harmon’s creepy S&M sex was pretty sad stuff. Luckily, she had an experienced serial killer there to help her feel more comfortable and somehow that, along with the combination of plastic surrounding her provided a good night’s sleep. Odd. The look on her face when Dexter collected his souvenir blood sample and then straight up shanked the dude dead on contact was so awesome and completely insane. One can only imagine her mixed emotions at seeing her own rapist killed, but by the hands of a skilled professional and her new bestie pal.

As a viewer, I’m quite pleased for once with Lumen as a side character. In past seasons, I felt Lila, Miguel and Trinity just didn’t give Dexter the depth he needed to touch on these complex emotions he deals with while balancing a moral center. Dexter is able to tell Lumen the complete truth about how long he has been killing, what caused it and who he is, both as an executioner and a family man. She is a victim like him in that she was innocent when she was born in blood, but damaged like he is. She wants revenge to feel whole but that doesn’t make her any less wholesome. Unlike Rita who was pure of heart but had no experience for Dexter to relate to, Lumen is the best of both world’s and exactly the catalyst he needs. And Rita’s death was the only thing that would allow for him to connect with Lumen and these deep seeded emotions he has been warding off since his childhood.

Bautista remains one of my favorite characters. He is the humble hero among the assholes. Which is why I can’t for the life of me understand why he married LaGuerta.

Dude, Quinn’s cheesy gold jewelry while he was in bed? No chiseled ass should excuse that fashion faux paux. Speaking of Quinn being a hot idiot, his asshole PI friend is really causing a shit storm for Dexter. His ridiculous telephoto lens that somehow managed to reach miles into the ocean with night vision and capture Dexter dumping a body, was a little unrealistic. But he is right about one thing, Lumen is a stupid name indeed.