‘Dexter’ Recap: ‘Helter Skelter’

Michael Storms Comic Con
Hall Looks Handsome While Promoting 'Dexter'
The hardest thing to do is to watch something you love die. Hence the reason why fans of Showtime’s Dexter relate so well to his plight and his willingness to save Hannah McKay. At this point in the series, no one knows what the hell is going on and we are all victims of an abusive relationship with a character who once proved reliable.

Dexter is at the whim of Isaac and it doesn’t show signs of stopping. Isaac is in deep doo-doo with the Ukranian mob he works for and apparently he is so desperate to live that he goes to his greatest enemy for help. Dexter at first refuses, but Isaac does him one better. His bald assistant Yurg manhandles Hannah and now Dexter will do anything in order to save her. Sound cheesy? That’s because it is the fattiest pile of gelatinous goop that the writers have ever tried to feed us.

Wait, no I take that back. Last season was much worse and thankfully, Colin Hanks isn’t here to ruin the current episode any further. What is the likelihood that Isaac would actually elicit Dexter’s help when he could instead kill our favorite serial murderer and skip town? The only reason for Isaac to even consider Dexter’s expertise is to organize a ‘meet-cute’ for the writers who want to make this Hannah McKay thing the real deal. It’s not working.

Over the years, viewers have put up with some pretty heavy shit from this show. First, Lila came along and we were able to stomach that for a season and then we had various characters that Dexter shared his dark secret with i.e. Miguel, Trinity, etc. And this was all fine and great until Rita kicked the bucket and we wanted some real sorrow, some real grief and emotion, regardless of Dexter’s lack thereof. And even if it wasn’t feasible for Dexter to grieve over Rita due to his serial killer instincts, there was a code that we could count on. Dexter doesn’t kill unless he knows for sure someone is a killer. And right after Rita’s death he kills a man in a random gas station out of grief. The show never addresses the breaking of the code.

It was okay though, because we had Lumen and it made sense that Dexter needed a rebound romance to recover from Rita’s death. But then it ended abruptly and Lumen hit the road. So excuse me for one minute while I freak out when Dexter claims to be in love with Hannah McKay, the coward who poisons her enemies with a deadly flower. Lumen was a badass and Rita was a sweetheart. Even Lila was creative in her destruction. Hannah is purely annoying.

Now it is clear why the writers have introduced a possible romance between Dexter and his sister Deb. There is no one else on this planet that can stand Dexter and his inconsistency. There are no rules now. And the fact that writers are pretending the code still applies is not only an insult, but it’s just plain stale. At the very least, we have LaGuerta getting ever closer to finding out Dexter’s dirty secrets. But she’s doing this in the name of Doakes who was a major pain in the ass when he was alive. She is now working with her sworn enemy and former boss, Matthews.

Isaac is killed off by the douche canoe and super dweebo George from the Fox Hole after he gets his ass kicked by Quinn-skinny-bones-mcgee. George boned Quinn’s stripper girlfriend Nadia. Sure, we’ll pretend that Isaac would succumb to  George because at this point, who cares? And then Dex and Isaac share a heart to heart as he carts the Ukranian’s dying ass out to sea to be dumped next to his lover Viktor. Why the hell wouldn’t Dexter make Isaac call Yurg so that he knew for sure that Hannah was safe before dumping Isaac in the ocean? Where the hell is Dexter’s brain? The plot lines are so blurred at this point that no one even questions the bullshit anymore.

Luckily, Jennifer Carpenter is awesome and Deb saves the day for Dexter once again. She tracks down Hannah and saves her bleeding ass so that her brother will be happy. Dexter meets up with Hannah at the hospital and professes his love to her after telling Deb that he could never feel that way for her. Whatever. This show had so much potential once upon a time and the writers have taken heir fan base for granted. I love Dexter. I love his character. I love what this show began as, but this entire series is a circus now and we are only watching out of some vestige of duty to the badass that was Dexter Morgan.