‘Dexter’ Recap: First Blood

Dexter is mentoring a victim and a killer. Lumen is the victim who wants first blood and Harrison may be following down his father’s dreary path. How does a little baby show his ambition? Scratches the shit out of his playmate that’s how!

Dexter let’s Lumen roam free, which is by and large a huge step for him. Its obviously the 5th season. This never would have happened with Lila or Miguel and especially not with Brian. But then again Rita is dead and Lumen is innocent. On one hand Dexter may be turning a whole new leaf, whereas on the other he is a ticking time bomb.

Quinn is lying to Deb about his suspension. Deb has finally given a definition to their relationship. It rhymes with Duck Fuddies. Also, Deb would rather put a campfire out with her face than sleep with LaGuerta’s colleague.

It seems as if Dexter is constantly pointing out the obvious. There is blood on a broken window, someone has gone through Boyd’s files, and they’ve also trashed the place. Duh dude, we can see that. I may be alone on this, but I am so annoyed with Harry’s morally determined ghost. Seriously, its like a self righteous douche version of Jiminy Cricket is following Dexter around.

Speaking of the obvious, Julia Stiles actually looks very nice when she has had a shower. Just sayin’.

Masuka’s tattoo parlor could have been the most unrealistic example of clientele ever displayed or I may have been to the trashiest tattoo joints on earth. Either way, point me in the right direction people. I’m on board!

Please tell me you weren’t eating when you witnessed Deb finding Mr. and Mrs. Maggot Farm. Her trademark flannel shirt was officially ruined.

Poor Lumen had the most efficient and perhaps overly zealous airport search in the history of pre-flight security checks. All this did was remind her how much she hates rapists and wants to kick their dead bodies in. So perhaps, in a way, that airport security did her a huge favor and Dexter a disservice. She revisited her mission and created a whole slew of shit storm problems for her new friend Dexter Morgan. But honestly, what is his life but completely ridiculous anyhow?