Deena Cortese Almost Goes Into The Arno River

Phew! We almost lost a key player on Team Jersey Shore yesterday.  Where in the world would we be able to find a stand-in if Deena Cortese were to fall into the Arno River below?  Cortese and Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola made their way to a part of the Ponte Santa Trinita bridge in Florence that doesn’t seem pedestrian-friendly (or idiot-proof).

While both girls were making their way back to safety, Cortese had a little trouble nailing the climb.  Fear not, for we’ll get the play-by-play in due time.   Cortese’s reaction to her slip-and-(almost)-fall will go as follows: “So we were, like, climbing back to the bridge and all of a sudden I’m slippin.’  It’s like, why is the ground so slippery?  If I fall into that disgusting water, will I die from pollution? Will I have to get shots?  My, like, life flashed before my eyes.”

PHOTOS: The Situation Gets Romantical In Firenze

Cortese made sure the entire day was devoted to stupid decisions, which is why she sported the nether regions of Michelangelo’s David on an apron in public.  For allllll to see.

Dov’è sono le forze di polizia?  Dov’è il sindaco?