David Copperfield Trying To Make Rape Allegation Disappear

As we reported yesterday, magician David Copperfield has been accused of rape by a woman in Seattle. The FBI appears to be taking this seriously, and raided his magical warehouse in Las Vegas – taking 2 million in cash, and a hard drive and a memory card from a camera. He just had 2 million chickens laying around? In a warehouse? Is that like saving your money under your mattress? I know a crazy ho in Southie who does that. She reasons the banks aren’t safe. Neither’s your junkie family coming around to rob you so they can buy Perocet! Er, anyway…David has spoken out about the alleged incident via his representation.

A lawyer for David Copperfield tells TMZ : “It is important these allegations be put into perspective. An unidentified woman has made serious allegations against David Copperfield. Although authorities have not revealed her identity to us, we know these allegations are false because David Copperfield has never forced himself on anyone.”

Was that worded oddly? They sound like they’re pissed the authorities won’t reveal who’s accusing him. Is that because David’s planning on sawing her ass in half when he finds out who it was? “Has never forced himself on anyone”? How about “this is a despicable accusation about a despicable crime”? It’s not like someone’s accusing him of dinging their car.