Cyndi Lauper’s Horrifying Secret Revealed
Pretend it’s 1985 and you still care. Reports from backstage at last night’s benefit at NYC’s Hetrick-Martin Institute reveal exactly what Cyndi Lauper does to get that Betty Boop voice she’s always sporting. She sucks the helium from balloons! What the eff? For real? That’s a lot of balloons she must have gone through. Wouldn’t that affect brain function after awhile? Cyndi was so hot when I saw her this past summer on the True Colors tour. The benefit was for the Harvey Milk High School for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. A witness reported that before she went on, Cyndi “sucked the gas out of two helium balloons”. She also pissed off the high school’s youth choir by repeatedly referring to them as “transgender”. One member of the choir stated “we’re not [bleep]ing trannies!” Someone hasn’t absorbed the spirit and purpose of their high school, apparently.