Crazy Astronaut Lady Says There Was No Diaper

The crazy astronaut lady traveling cross country to kidnap or kill her romantic rival wasn’t celebrity gossip. It was better! And one of the best details about the whole sordid story was Nasa maniac Lisa Nowak wearing a diaper on her cross-country trek to cut a bitch because she didn’t want to waste anytime! Seriously, sitting in her own filth was preferable to not putting some ho in the ground asap. Imagine how many dreams shattered when Nowak’s lawyer claimed in court that the diaper story wasn’t true. This is exactly like the time the Easter Bunny molested me.

The biggest lie is this preposterous tale,” said defense attorney Donald Lykkebak, according to Florida Today.

Lykkebak made his comments during a status hearing on the case Friday morning. Nowak is scheduled to stand trial on Sept. 24.

According to reports, Nowak wore special astronaut diapers so that she could drive without stopping from Houston to the Orlando International Airport, where she allegedly attacked Shipman on Feb. 5.

The diaper drama continues after the jump.

Lykkebak said his client had been subject to ridicule due to the reports and explained that the diapers found in her car were in fact toddler-size. Nowak, a mother of three, and her family had been forced to evacuate their Houston home during the 2005 hurricane season, he said, and the diapers had been used by the children and parents on that trip.

Wait, so people were….in diapers….in parked cars? DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING! You can’t tell me there was not one bush or shrub or fence up in there. Ugh. Not only am I upset that this drooling space maniac didn’t wear a diaper on the way to killing someone, now I’m grossed out.