Crackhead Utilizes The Press To Win Back Ex-Girlfriend

July 31st, 2007 // 5 Comments

(WENN)

Pete Doherty has spoken to the the Mirror about how much he wants Kate Moss back. He goes from calling her a “nasty old rag” who “kicked him in the head” to saying how much he loves “her brain”. This is gonna make one HELLUVA a movie in 2014. Calling a globally famous supermodel a “nasty old rag” is hot.

he passionately declares: “I love her with all my heart. I like the way she walks and talks. I love her bones. I love her brain.”

Pete goes on to say that Kate kicked him out because of her jealous belief that he was f*cking the girl who “lives around the corner”. Is this Sesame Street? No need to go on tour for groupies – supermodels and junkie rockers live in the same neighborhood as sluts in the U.K. There are no gated communities here. Malibu’s for pussies! Keep reading for more of Pete’s lament.

And he claims that despite their split earlier this month she phoned him two days ago drunkenly singing the sentimental classic, Moon River.

The gaunt Babyshambles star, who insists he is beating his heroin habit, said: “Kate has broken my heart.

“There’s been this lockdown and I can’t get hold of her. This is the only way I can get through.

“I need her to know that she’s out of her f***ing mind. Kate, if you love me then realise I don’t want any other girl.

“Do I still love her? Don’t ask me that question. Why do you think I’m here today talking to you? I’m here to tell her that I love her.

“F***ing hell man, why does she read the Daily Mirror, anyway? She moans all the time about the f***ing paparazzi then first thing in the morning she’s got to buy your paper.”

This so romantic. Pete then offered to blow the reporter for a cheeseburger and 20 bucks. When the reporter declined, Pete told him to get off his bloody grate so he could nap.

By J. Harvey
  1. woohoo

    Gross… Its like you can see the bugs under his filthy heroin loaded skin .. I would be afraid to get close enough to spit on him

  2. green cardigan

    Wasn’t The Mirror the paper that ran the photos of Kate hoovering up the lines of cocaine ? They practically ruined her career and yet she still trots down to the corner shop every morning for her copy. As you say in the States, Go Figure.

    THEN she rang him up and sang *hic* Moon River to him? Maybe he was just hallucinating.

    These two carry on like a pair of not very bright 14 year olds.

  3. lookwhaticando

    I would’nt even touch him with K-Feds hands

  4. Jeanie

    He only wants her back so he can be on her gravy train. Also, what happened to the story that they were going to have a baby? Obviously she’s not pregnant, but I’m surprised the story just died.

  5. luvjharvey

    I have to tell you that I woke up this morning laughing to “Crackhead Whisperer” from yesterday’s blog… you are a funny man J Harvey.
    I only go to work to read you…

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