She Should Have Had Reservations About That Dress

October 19th, 2007 // 13 Comments

The other day, I made some catty comments about a dress Jennifer Connelly had on that reminded me of something a little girl in the Kansas dust bowl of the 1930′s would wear. A fashion-forward reader told me to shut it, because the dress was Balenciaga or something and it was a hot piece. What the hell do I know? I’m happy when something from H&M’s clearance rack actually fits my hairy manboobs and won’t fall apart after one washing. But I can say with some confidence that what she’s twerkin’ at this event is all sorts of heinous. Damn, it’s so heinous that it sucked the hot right out of Mark Ruffalo and that’s hard. The combination of that weird Grandma mermaid dress and Joaquin Phoenix’s grump might have killed Mark’s hotness permanently. Mark better get away from those two stat. Her shoes are hot, though. Just not with that nasty attic item she’s sportin’. It’s probably worth $3000 clams but she got it for free. Actresses get all the free shit. Thankfully for her. This was the premiere for Jennifer’s new movie “Reservation Road”. Jennifer and Joaquin play parents who lose their son to a hit and run driver who, unbeknowest to them, is their lawyer. That’s a painful twist of fate. Jennifer found filming to be psychically painful and will do a comedy next.

But shutting out her own reality often proved impossible. “Of course, the film is informed by it,” she says.

As a result, the actress exhibited physical symptoms of stress during the shoot, even though the set itself was relatively calm and relaxed. “I am an Olympic sleeper. It’s one of the things I do best in life. But I was having nightmares and having a hard time sleeping. My jaw kept locking up, and I couldn’t eat. I got a week into it, and I thought, ‘What have I done to myself?’ “

You’ve put yourself on that Oscar train, is what you’ve done. This job ain’t all free dresses! I’m just happy Mira Sorvino found work. Unless she’s there to serve cocktails or something. I don’t see a tray, though.

(Getty Images)

Many more photos (Jennifer Connelly, Paul Bettany, Rebecca DeMornay, Mark Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, Mira Sorvino, Alison Lohman, Jane Seymour, Tara Reid) from the Los Angeles Premiere of ‘Reservation Road’ at Samuel Goldwyn theatre in Beverly Hills are after the jump

(Getty Images)

By J. Harvey

  1. capt. cornhole

    WTF is up w/ that dress????? Looks like material off Grandma’s love seat an matching ottoman.
    And the shoes??? is she trying to cause vertigo? Get some poor pap to toss their cookies.

    TO me: her best work will always be the double dong sceen….asses slapping together..mmm that gets me hot.

  2. peachpie

    it’s just a bad look all the way around. bad dress. bad shoes. bad look. ick.

    and you tell THEM to ‘shut it’, j. harvey. fashion doesn’t depend on a freaking price tag OR the name of a designer. just because it’s balenciaga or costs $3K retail doesn’t mean it’s beautiful fashion. you were right. the dress looked awful and she looked awful in it. just like this one. whomever told you to ‘shut it’ obviously knows nothing about what fashion really is.

  3. Ms. Hall

    “She should have had reservations about that dress”

    J. Harvey. You are so funny.

  4. Bunny

    Where is my ANTM recap? Did I miss it? I am suing that dress for intentional infliction of emotional distress!

  5. maxpurr9

    that photo almost looks like mark is recoiling from her and that dress, and the other two are snickering about it….

  6. Interloper

    Dude, for real, I just need one night alone on a desert island with Mark Ruffalo.

    A DESSERT island would do equally well. Mark and some PIE.

    Um yeah the dress. Seventeen KINDS of nasty.

  7. Stephanie

    what about the bedsheet that mira sorvino is using for a dress??

  8. Mmmm…Mark Ruffalo. Mmmm.

  9. green cardigan

    That dress is 50 shades of hideous and the other one wasn’t much better, so don’t worry your hairy manboobs JH, lol.

  10. Persistent Cat

    The dress is so ugly and if it weren’t bad enough, those shoes are fifty kinds of nasty. Even with an all black outfit, they’d be too much. And Mira Sorvino is wearing an old bridesmaid’s dress.

    And Peachpie is right, a label doesn’t make it right.

  11. queencrone

    I need to get THIS dress and THESE shoes, because there is an event coming up at my kid’s school and I live to embarass them!!! Usually I can accomplish this by just breathing. But now I will raise the bar!! Muhahahahahah!! (Evil crone laughter :-) )

  12. Dita O.

    Any fool who defends The Emperor’s Clothes with “Shut it, it’s Balenciaga” should consider themselves sucessfully brainwashed. Fashion is your pimp, sucka.

  13. omesolde

    Does anyone know who designed Tara Reid’s dress? Everyone keeps talking about her boobs, but I think that dress is fantastic! Can anyone help me?

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