CONFIRMED: Reagan Still Dead And J Ho is Married

June 7th, 2004 // 9 Comments

wed154 Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. You’ve been married now, like 33 times. All the marriages have lasted less than one year. You’ve broken off a high profile engagement to the third most boring man on the planet, Ben Affleck (behind Harrison Ford and The Pope). What in God’s (who says I’m not religous) name makes you think that a marriage to a man, who cheated on his wife, fathered her two children, and who just obtained a quickie divorce in the Dominican Republic five days earlier, will work?

If Mario Lopez can cheat on Ali Landry, I have a pretty good feeling that Marc Anthony can cheat on Jennifer Lopez. And on the flip side, I’m sure Jennifer will find love on the next film set, and forget all about the skinny ass salsa queen she just married.

J Lo wedding photos at stereogum.

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. amyfisher

    the woman’s on crack. seriously.

  2. scott

    has the woman lost her mind? there’s something deeper and stranger afoot here. where’s Hard Copy when you need some investigative reporting?

  3. Ignore it. Maybe it will go away.

  4. Exactly. What was she thinking?

    Oh wait, she wasn’t thinking.

  5. Jen

    Let’s just hope she doesn’t sit on his scrawny ass with her big old butt!

  6. Juanita

    okay someone needs to put some since into her cuz i was on her side for a while but now shes lost it.

  7. Sarah

    Maybe for her next wedding she will try a different color besides white? Marriage should be a joke to her by now so maybe she’ll have a little fun!

  8. I think it’s very obvious that she needs, desperately needs, the attention of men, that having a boyfriend/husband is necessary for her sense of identity. That’s pretty sad. I wonder if her father was around when she was growing up, and if he was, was he the detached sort ’cause that would explain a lot of her behavior.

  9. I think it’s very obvious that she needs, desperately needs, the attention of men, that having a boyfriend/husband is necessary for her sense of identity. That’s pretty sad. I wonder if her father was around when she was growing up, and if he was, was he the detached sort ’cause that would explain a lot of her behavior.

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