Clay Aiken Sees God
Take a long, hard look at this man’s face. It’s the man who is so drunk on his own power that he has realized that his revolution will, in fact, be televised. This picture reminds me of a wonderful anecdote that was told to me by a friend who recently spent this past Saturday afternoon, trying to relax on the grass of Griffith Park while reading a book. Apparently, he had found himself a quiet little spot, that was tucked away from other park visitors and was happily enjoying his reading time, when all of a sudden, he was attacked with the noises of Destiny’s Child and covers of various other pop songs. It was at that point that he figured out that Clay Aiken was performing at the nearby outdoor venue, the Greek Theatre. Slowly, but surely, the migration of Claymates in his direction confirmed his suspicions, and soon, he found himself neck-deep in a bevy of middle-aged women and tween girls.
The only reason that he managed to escape with his bones unbroken was because he was smart enough to remember that their vision is based on movement and that he should under all circumstances agree that Clay is in fact the most heterosexual male singer who has ever walked this earth. Except for Luther Vandross, God rest his soul.