Clay Aiken Sees God

August 9th, 2007 // 10 Comments

Take a long, hard look at this man’s face. It’s the man who is so drunk on his own power that he has realized that his revolution will, in fact, be televised. This picture reminds me of a wonderful anecdote that was told to me by a friend who recently spent this past Saturday afternoon, trying to relax on the grass of Griffith Park while reading a book. Apparently, he had found himself a quiet little spot, that was tucked away from other park visitors and was happily enjoying his reading time, when all of a sudden, he was attacked with the noises of Destiny’s Child and covers of various other pop songs. It was at that point that he figured out that Clay Aiken was performing at the nearby outdoor venue, the Greek Theatre. Slowly, but surely, the migration of Claymates in his direction confirmed his suspicions, and soon, he found himself neck-deep in a bevy of middle-aged women and tween girls.

The only reason that he managed to escape with his bones unbroken was because he was smart enough to remember that their vision is based on movement and that he should under all circumstances agree that Clay is in fact the most heterosexual male singer who has ever walked this earth. Except for Luther Vandross, God rest his soul.

By Lisa Timmons

  1. kiki

    Take a long, hard look at this man’s face. It’s the man who is so drunk on his own power that he has realized that his revolution will, in fact, be televised.

    the best sentence you’ve ever written!

  2. Gailsie

    except Luther could sing.

  3. so what

    I wonder what exactly is some peoples problem with Clay? He lives in North Carolina, not hollywood…He does a lot of charity work..and the occasional concert..He has a beautiful voice..I don’t get it.

  4. Zekers

    He’s creepy…like the Bible School counselor that wants to spend too much time alone with little Johnny…that’s how he hits me.

  5. JaneSays

    “Except for Luther Vandross, God rest his soul.” -Girl, shut yo mouth! My mom is STILL in denial over this one. She’ll go to her grave believing he chose to be a “confirmed bachelor”!!

  6. Darth Paul

    He NEEDS to see Jenny Craig.

  7. LoRider

    Wow, Clay – lay off the carbs for a bit!

    Ride Lo

  8. nastybugger

    the “problem” people have with him is his seeming denial of his sexual orientation.

    personally, gay or straight, I don’t care, but hiding your sexuality because you think it might cause fans to NOT be fans anymore is not right. it simply perpetuates the idea that being gay is “wrong” and unacceptable.

    unfortunately for Clay, the most-common type of fan he has WOULD be turned off by him being gay.

  9. so what

    nastybugger…What makes you so sure that Clay is gay? As far as his fans go, Im a fan of his, and I couldn’t care less if hes gay or not..I’ll still be a fan.

  10. green cardigan

    I saw him on Larry King Live one night. He dodged those ‘gay’ questions like a pro. Let’s be honest here, most straight men would rather die than have ‘gay’ whispered about them.

    I wish he felt confident or comfortable enough to strut out of that closet and be gay and proud of it. He seems like a nice chap. You’d almost forgive the fact that he’s ginger.

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