Clay Aiken Got A Girl Pregnant, J. Harvey Just Practiced Cunnilingus

May 29th, 2008 // 3 Comments

Straight from The What The F*ck Files, Clay Aiken has knocked someone up. It’s like we’ve entered the evil mirror universe. I need to make sure gravity is still working and water is still wet. On the reals, Clay Aiken reportedly had donated his sperm to impregnate his best friend and record producer, Jaymes Foster. No, this is not the pregnant guy. Jaymes is a female, 40, and sister to record producer David Foster. She has produced Aiken’s records and now she’s been artifically inseminated by Clay.

Clay will reportedly participate in the raising of the child. That child will be raised with showtunes!

The Claymates are going to be split. 1/2 of them are going to take this as proof that Aiken is straight, despite his penis never having touched her vagina. The other 1/2 are going to try and steal this baby the second it’s born. It’s the Chosen One! They better have security around the maternity ward looking for suspicious Rubenesque Midwestern women in Bedazzled scrubs! The dickeys with kittens on them will be a dead giveaway.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. ROTFLMAO!

    Congrats to the mama’s baby daddy & the daddy’s baby mama.

    BTW, John un-ban me bitch!

  2. S_M_G

    Okay confession time… I voted for Clay like a zillion times and was in love with him. I have no idea how it happened but I was obsessed with the guy!

    Now, I can’t figure out why! He looks awful and is obviously gay.

    What better way to come out than artifically inseminating someone!

    Dayum!

  3. Nikki Tru

    Conspiracy Theory: Clay is the devil spawn of Michael Jackson…. Doesn’t this story sound just like that crazy ish that Mike did with Debbie!?

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