Christina Aguilera And Her Husband Are Skeeving Out The Neighbors

March 27th, 2008 // 19 Comments

Imagine those post-pregnancy pontoons floating about in the chlorine? Christina Aguilera and her husband, record executive Jordan Bratman, are keeping their love alive by having noisy midnight sex in their pool.

Christina gave birth to son Max in January, but recently told Ellen DeGeneres that she and Jordan work at keeping their sex life spicy. The neighbors aren’t jazzed by the moans, screams, and lewd use of swimmies.

“They don’t just splash around – they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises. We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they’d keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour,” a source says.

“How can I digest my tapioca and Lorna Doones when that floozie is making time with her gent next door? I don’t even know what ‘Dirty Sanchez’ means!”

Ugh, I’m gross. Here’s Xtina with her hubby at Babies ‘R’ Us in LA.


8 more photos of Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman leaving Babies R Us after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)


By J. Harvey

  1. devil

    My mother used to say that people who exhibit public displays of affection don’t have anything good going on in private. These two just want an audience. Probably because neither one of them is desirable to anybody else.

  2. Amanda

    I like loud sex too, something wrong with that? If so eff off!

  3. Sasha

    Are you not supposed to wait three months. Oh wait slfish idiot had a csection

  4. Frida

    devil: since when is it a public display of affection in their own backyard?

  5. Frida

    devil: since when is it a public display of affection in their own backyard?

  6. gimane

    btw, many fans noticed her profile on celebs club’Searching Millionaire DoT com”.she used her real photo. so funny.

  7. Sara

    Sasha…what is so selfish about a c-section? It’s not like the baby will know the difference. I actually think it might be better for them because they won’t be crushed by crotch. I will have a c-section one day too, as I like the size of my vagina. Is that selfish?

  8. les

    Exactly Sara, women have a lot less trouble later on in life if they have had c-sections.

  9. green cardigan

    are they living in a retirement village? God Bless their hormones.

  10. zan

    to les and sara go rent “The Business of Being Born” and then we will talk. Multiple C sections are really bad for a woman.

  11. Sara

    To zan…yea, that’s if you have like 6 children, all c-section. If you have one or two you will be fine. My mother did, and she is in perfect health. And hers were emergency c-sections, so they should have caused more complications than a scheduled one, but they didn’t. If my mom couldn’t squeeze them out, why should I risk my life trying? She almost died trying to give birth to me naturally.

  12. Ry

    About the C-section claim..

    More than 3 can be risky if you plan on having more children there after.

    C-sections are very safe and many doctors prefer to do them because they are more predictable and may have fewer side effects. Also they result in less vaginal trauma.

    Nothing selfish about C-sections.

  13. Amber

    You people are seriously uninformed about c-sections. Doctor’s do NOT do them because they care about the mother and the baby – they do them because they get more money from the insurance companies. Get a clue. If it’s an emergency situation, then fine, get a c-section to save the baby’s life. But if you’re just being a selfish five letter word who doesn’t want tearing, then you don’t deserve to have kids in the first place. Being a mother is about being selfless. Think about it.

  14. Amber

    Oh – statistics show that vaginal births are a lot safer than c-sections. And to the person who said she wanted to keep her vagina the same size so that’s why she’s having an elective c-section, you’re not too bright so please just don’t have kids at all. Your vagina stretches, that’s what it was built to do – it will go back to it’s normal size.

  15. Brit

    how did this turn into a talk about c sections? that has nothing to do with it..if christina is healthy and feeling fine, why shouldnt she have sex? and also..who knows if they are or not this is a rumour. isnt anyone’s business.. having sex in your own pool (especially as she is VERY likely to have a high fence) is by no means public . and as for “loud” sex..when sex is too quiet its creepy. i say good for them!! being a parent is about being selfless, but being parents together means you need time together, so go Mr and Mrs Bratman!!

  16. caitlyn

    and how does that affect people they have sex … like seriously nobody bothers them when they are having some fun in their room .

  17. Nikki

    WTH is up the haters on c-sections, if someone wants to do that, let them, who cares for their reasons, and wanting to maintain a vaginal size has nothing to do with the ability to be a mom. Yeeeeesh, its not like we’re talking about a c-section that is 2 months early or something, that’s a lil selfish I would think, but to electively choose a c-section, how the hell is that selfish? Is there any harm that comes to the baby? If so, then why is it perfectly ok still with doctors and the government and all that good stuff? I would imagine, if it were harmful, and selfish, that there would be mass rallies and petitions to have it removed from the options. I would still imagine that a c-section is more painful, b/c you have to recover for 6 weeks, whereas with vaginal births, for me, I only had to wait a day or two before I could walk around freely, but I am pretty diligent with my kegal exercises. I had an operation similar to c-section, and it was freaking painful and no I wouldn’t do it unless I absolutely had to. I couldn’t leave my bed for a week, and had to depend on ppl to help me, I didn’t like that feeling. With vaginal, a little hobbling is in order, but at least I could walk myself to the bathroom.

  18. Sara

    Thank you Ry and Nikki…I’m glad there are some people who aren’t birthing nazis on here. I hate it when women try to dictate to others about what they should and should not do with their bodies. My mother almost died twice while trying to give birth naturally. She had to have emergency C-sections for both myself and my brother. I would rather not go through that same kind of trauma, as both my mother and myself have very similar builds. Instead of having a hideous scar like my mother, a scar so bad that she could never wear anything even remotely revealing again, I would rather elect to have a scheduled c-section so I wouldn’t have to worry about almost dieing. I don’t care what you people say about natural births and how they are so safe if you are relaxed, there will be no way that I will be relaxed enough to do that because I’ll be thinking about how close to death my mother came. Thank you birth nazis for being heartless bastards. I hope none of you actually have children because when they do anything that defies you you will alienate them for the rest of your lives.

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