Christina Aguilera’s New Son, Max (Factor)

Photos: Splash

It has now been confirmed that Christina Aguilera gave birth to a son, Max Liron Bratman, on Saturday at 10:05 pm. I had a bottle of champs to celebrate. Ok, I didn’t know she had given birth just like I didn’t know that Adnan Ghalib would actually still be considered Asian. I’m not British, I’m an obviously ignorant American. Duh. Anyway, I had the champagne because the night was young! Despite the flurry of reports that she actually had the baby on Friday, Max came into the world late Saturday night. He was 6 lbs., 2 oz. and 20.5 inches and hopefully avoided having Daddy’s ears. He could always pin them back if he did. That baby is probably already covered in orange foundation. He probably looks like a tiny Oompah-Loompah. You know she was completely made up in the delivery room. “Christina, you need to push!” “Not until I fix my eyes, you nurse bitch! Step back!”