Christina Aguilera Is Protective Of Her Vagina

Christina Aguilera says that she chose to have her new baby Max by c-section because she was afraid of vaginal tearing. “I’d heard horror stories about tearing. I really wanted a calm and peaceful environment. I didn’t want any surprises,” Xtina told the British press. Don’t they just shoot you full of drugs nowadays? Like so you’re dead from waist down? Now she’s going to have a big belly scar that slutty outfits like chaps and bikini bottoms won’t hide!

Xtina says that her husband Jordan Bratman wasn’t squeamish about the birth at all and was armed with a video camera. Look, I’ve had plenty of these new parents show me the photos from the delivery room and after the birth. The mother never looks cute. She looks like she just got thrown out of a moving car. Plus, inevitably you can see her boobs in one of them. I know she’s smiling wanly at the camera but we can read the subtle expression that says “get the f*cking camera out of my face, you cretin.”

Photos: Flynet Onilne

More photos of Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman spending Valentine’s Day together at Giorgio Baldi in Santa Monica are after the jump.

(Hint: right-click with your mouse to open the thumbnails up in a new window or tab.)

Photos: Flynet Onilne