Christina Aguilera’s Hidden Baby Is The Worst Kept Secret Ever

Seriously, this new trend is getting to me. Just say it already. What’s the big deal. The goddamn kid is crowning! I just slipped in your broken water. There’s practically placenta to be had! Christina Aguilera’s friends threw her a baby shower for the baby we’re not supposed to know about. And word is that she’s going to name the kid after her hubbie, record executive Jordan Bratman. Do they call their car the “Bratmobile”? I hope so. I would.

The singer’s family and friends threw a private baby shower on October 20 in Malibu. Though the mom-to-be has remained mum about her pregnancy, an insider reveals that Christina wants to name the baby after her husband, record label executive Jordan Bratman. “She rubs her baby bump and talks to the baby, calling it Jordy,” says the insider.

Xtina wears A LOT of makeup. Will the baby come out with a full face on? Does Jordan ever ask her “do I actually know what you look like?” For all he knows, the real Christina could have been done away with aeons ago and he’s been tangling with some ambitious transsexual. Seriously, that’s a makeup mask she’s got on. What does her pillow look like? Please let the baby be fresh-faced.

Photos: WENN