Cheryl Cole Files For Quickie Divorce So England Can Win World Cup

Cheryl Cole has been happy to move on from her scandalous marriage, for example she enjoyed herself partying with Will.I.Am after their gig in London earlier this month (May 6). Now she’s finally making the separation official.

Cheryl filed divorce papers (citing “unreasonable behavior”) yesterday. She does not, however, want any of her cheating husband, Ashley Cole’s money. She doesn’t want their £6 million dollar mansion or a penny from his giant soccer paycheck or endorsement deals, she just wants a quick clean break. So England can win the World Cup. Wait, what?

The Sun is reporting that Cheryl told her lawyers that she wants a quickie divorce so “the key England defender can go to the World Cup without being distracted by ‘emotional turmoil’ “.

“Cheryl made a swift decision to put England’s World Cup dreams ahead of herself,” says an insider. “The divorce should be finalized before England’s first touch of the ball in South Africa on June 12.”

I’m sure she makes enough of her own money, but come on. He was with four ladies, one of them hours after you went public for the first time, X-rated text photos, elaborate cover up schemes and she wants him to be clearheaded to kick a ball? How ’bout catering some of that divorce to give him a metaphorical kick in the balls? Is soccer really that powerful in England, because this doesn’t translate over here?