Charlize Theron Is Married But Not Really


Is this cause she had that breast fear thing? Sources were speculating that Charlize Theron might have gotten secretly married to longtime boyfriend Stuart Townsend recently. No, but Stuart considers them so. Ok, crazy. That means you can follow Kurt Russell’s footsteps and get the occasional massage parlor happy ending. I don’t see a ring on your finger, Goldie!

Townsend told People this week at the Toronto Film Festival, “I’m married. I didn’t do a church wedding or anything, but we’re married. We’re husband and wife.”

“We love each other and we want to spend our lives together,” said Townsend, 34. He also called Charlize, 32, “the greatest woman I’ve ever met.”

He added, “”We didn’t have a ceremony. I don’t need a certificate or the state or the church to say otherwise. So no there’s no big official story on a wedding, but we are married. … I consider her my wife and she considers me her husband.”

Both are reported to be wearing wedding bands now. That’s nice. He might want to reconsider and make it real. Palimony’s ok, but marriage is binding and you can get half easier. Fantasy weddings in the Kingdom of Valentines in your mind is nice and all but what happens when her new co-star is 25 and can crack walnuts with his ass? Get on the stick, Stu. Plan for your future.