Charlie Sheen Got Married, Denise Richards Sent A Present That Wasn’t A Time Bomb Or Anthrax

May 31st, 2008 // 5 Comments

Photos: WENN

Charlie Sheen tied the knot with real estate investor Brooke Mueller last night in a small ceremony at a private estate in Los Angeles. His ex-wife and current reality tv…star(?) Denise Richards told the Valentine in the Morning radio show yesterday that she would be sending a gift. I hope his ass had bomb-sniffing dogs and one of those airport x-ray things. It wouldn’t be pleasant having to get married missing your face.

“[I'll send] something from the girls,” Richards said. “At the end of the day, he’s their dad,” she said of Sheen. “They have to understand that.”

Bitch, they would probably understand it better if you two weren’t constantly having these completely trashy battles which they’re going to be able to read about on the Internet in three years. Kids start early on the computers these days. Sam, 4, and Lola Rose, soon to be 3, are going to be in a therapist’s office eventually. They’re going to be either laughing or crying and talking about the “tranny prostitute-infested sperm incident.”


The story continues, and more photos of the event, are after the jump.

Charlie and Brooke were married in front of a small group of family and friends, including Grey’s Anatomy star Eric Dane and his wife, actress Rebecca Gayheart. Dane and Gayheart were the ones who introduced Sheen to his newest victim. Wait until she gets her first Internet porn bill. Not cute. It probably rivals mine. What?

“Brooke really wanted to walk down the aisle in a big way, but Charlie insisted they keep it simple and small,” a source says. He was worried about a sniper attack from Denise.

Sheen and Mueller are postponing their honeymoon to attend the Chrysalis Butterfly Ball charity event in LA this evening. It’s an organization that helps homeless people get jobs, and where the two made their debut as a couple two years ago. Oh my god, Denise is going to dress as a giant butterfly, sneak in, and attack their asses!


By J. Harvey

  1. Divorce Lawyer on Speed Dial

    Charlie should quit getting married, because he’s famously bad at it.

    Hope he made the future Ex-Mrs. Sheen sign a Prenup.

  2. shar

    Not sure how many times for Charlie but I really don’t understand why he bothers, he loves the ladies. Why bother with the piece of paper, Obviously the vows don’t mean sqat. All the bother of a divorce, more lawyers, etc. I say do your thing Charlie, but like your show, send them home.

  3. devil

    Yeah, I don’t understand the point of Charlie Sheen getting married again. Does he need more kids to support? More ex-wives to support?

    Is he afraid of dying alone? If he is, couldn’t he just buy companionship and pay up-front once, rather than for the rest of his life?

    Maybe Charlie’s just an eternal optimist.

  4. the phantom

    Jesus H Christ.

  5. Goon Squad

    Having to get married missing your face…Holy Mother of God, that was a good one. And seriously, I’m guessing you were not far from the the truth…

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