Celebs Ruin New Year’s Eve

Page Six reports that New Year’s Eve party-goers at NYC’s Stereo were told to return to their peasant hovels when the real people in the world showed up.

CLUBGOERS who dropped $250 a head to party at Stereo on New Year’s Eve were not amused when their big night was cut short by a celebrity invasion. Impulse Productions and Heineken were throwing the bash, and revelers were promised they could party down until 3:30 a.m. But everyone was kicked out at 2:30 to make room for a whole crew of A-listers who had earlier been whooping it up at the Hudson Hotel. Stereo owner Michael Satsky ushered 200 celebrants in through the back door, including Christina Aguilera, Jordan Bratman, John Mayer, Jessica Simpson and Topher Grace. “Twenty-ninth Street was bumper to bumper with black SUVs,” said our source. Inside the club, it was like “a love competition” to see who could make out the longest: “It was Jessica and John vs. Christina and Jordan. Both couples were fully locking lips and spooning into the early morning.”

If there were any commands to “avert your eyes as you exit, and do not look directly at Topher Grace”, I’m going on a machete rampage. Oh, and how many mops does it take to clean up the vomit produced by having to watch those four troglodytes writhe in plastic passion? I’d have to scrub my retinas with an S.O.S pad after watching that scabies competition.

The full shot of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer is after the jump.