Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards were held last night, and several celebrities endured getting green slime poured all over them. It’s a gunge-fest. In some circles, that’s fetish. Miley Cyrus was the big winner, earning two awards for Favorite TV Actress and Favorite Female Singer. Miley is Jesus’ homegirl. Jesus better watch out or she’s going to gum him to death.
The awards are completely vote-driven by the kiddies. Returning host Jack Black bragged that over 88 million votes were cast. Wow. Are there children in third world countries with Nickelodeon? We’re eating raw tiger, but I want to make sure Cameron Diaz wins the “Wannabe” Award.
Other winners included Superhero Movie star Drake Bell for Favorite TV actor for Drake & Josh, and Johnny Depp for Favorite Movie Actor. If you’ll recall, Drake Bell was the actor that High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens sent pictures of her bushfire to. Somehow he’s managed to regain his eyesight in the years since the traumatic incident.
No, seriously, Cammie won some kind of award for “Wannabe”. That means she’s the actress that little girls most want to emulate. They want to smoke weed and have a worse complexion than I do? She urged the children in the audience to get out there and change the world. She’s so stoned, and she probably smells like bong water. Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf were also in the hizzy promoting Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I hope Shia stuck to only designated smoking areas. He’s a rebel. Harrison got green slime poured all over him. Hollywood’s a tough game if you’re pushing 70 and still having to act like it’s The Gong Show.
Photos: Getty Images
21 more photos from the Kids’ Choice Awards featuring Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, Janet Jackson, Josh Peck, Chris Brown, Ashton Kutcher, Harrison Ford, Jason Lee, Jack Black, Orlando Bloom, James Marsden, Hayden Panettiere, Will Smith, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Brendon Fraser, Jessica Alba, Steve Carrell, Miley Cyrus and Shia LaBeouf are after the jump.
(Hint: right-click with your mouse to open the thumbnails up in a new window or tab.)
Photos: Getty Images