Caption Paris Hilton

February 20th, 2007 // 19 Comments


By Jessica Marx

  1. anon1

    Unexplained bruises? I guess “The Herp” can add syphillis to her resume now. tee-hee:0)

  2. Deb

    I’m going for the “Girl does her own makeup while drunk so it looks like my nose is melting off and someone punched me in the chest” look–it’s hot!

  3. Brandi

    Ringworm: It’s Hot

  4. Jinxy McDeath

    With her eye on super wonk, Paris smears her mom’s make up on her beak, then unable to focus tries to spray paint her chest Beyonce brown to offset those racist rumors. Per usual, Paris fails again.

  5. ND

    In the wake of increasingly rediculous behavior, the general populace has made known their disdain for Paris…. hence the red dots on her chest from people touching her with 10 foot poles.

  6. Loob

    She has Ocampan ear-flaps.

    Leave it to Paris to find a way to catch the bubonic plague. Most skanks just get mono at make-out parties.

  7. cracktastic

    I don’t get it. does she not look in the mirror after the make up is applied?

    wait, this is one of the most vain women on the planet. which means, OF COURSE she looked in the mirror but was so fucked up on SOMETHING that she didn’t even notice the smeared coverup/foundation.

    and what the F is that spot on her chest? goddam she is gross.

  8. jilly

    cover up your ringworm! or do you want to spead that too with your herpes?

  9. Kim

    Looks like he missed her mouth.

  10. Jessica

    Seriously wtf is that on her chest?

  11. Serlady

    it’s that damn hot-glass-bulb treatment. which is supposed to be really good for you. but why oh why would you get it in a visible area, like 2 hours before you have to be somewhere??? idiot.

  12. Jane Beck

    Paris Hilton : The Ringworm Diaries

  13. wascally wabbit

    those are bite marks/hickies, folks.

  14. bb

    There is some type of therapy that the stars get where they put round glass cups on their bodies, someone waves a match over the cup and it creates suction. The suction causes the bruises. It’s a weird type of acupuncture. Gwyneth Paltrow had it done a while back. But you never know with Paris. She might have contracted Ebola.

  15. Unknown

    Paris Hilton was attacked yesterday and beaten, leaving her nose hanging off her face, one eye half closed and bruises on her upper chest. Police are looking for the suspect, who will be identified by his herpes infection and possible evidence of fake hair strands and makeup smudges. News at 11.

  16. me

    it looks like the weight of all that bling is really hurting poor paris… the first ever bruise by diamond!

  17. me

    Paris: “oh my gawd! Like, my fans must totally love me if they’ll go to such, like, extreme junk, just to touch me! I mean, luring me to a dark alley with promise of free condoms?!?! They totally wanted to just touch me, like, just once in their poor and miserable lives. I mean, they know so much about me! Like, they know that they’ll never get to touch me, so they tie me with one of those rope thingies and punch me and beat me with a stick jut to touch me! ME!”*

    *Please note, that after this really long thought, Paris’ brain couldn’t take it, and it overheated, so she fainted and had to be carried out.

  18. Kourtni

    Looks like Nick Carter is back in the picture, boys & girls.

  19. biggest fan 1#

    omg yuu lot are so fucking lame!

    paris hilton is GREAT!


    but i gess that i just coz i look ALOT like her!
    i am going to a party dresed like her!

    and dont say summink like ‘oh are you goin as a porn star then?’ coz for all the people who do think that, she is known for so many other great things, like her fashon sence [ it is amazing ]!

    so there retards (and so what of she gets some all the time… just coz you dont)
    lol love you paris xxx

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