Caption It! #75

September 14th, 2005 // 42 Comments
By Miu von Furstenberg
  1. Lisa

    While Joe Simpson neglects his one duty….to press PLAY on the cd player……..Ashlee Simpson is once again….stuck there looking like a phony wannabe.

  2. Obert

    Is she still singing? wait wait, lip syncing. Just because your sister can sing…doesn’t mean you can.

  3. KC

    As heard by others: “Pieces, Pieces of me…”

    In her head: “I’m glad the cd player is doing okay right now. I wonder what my father will tell me to do next after that whole ‘I go both ways’ thingy….”

  4. McCrevace, Phill

    Ashlee shows Opera how daddy likes it.

  5. Ridwah

    No fair, Ashlee always wins the belching contest!!

  6. jordan

    and this move i call “the wilmer”

  7. Girly Girl

    She makes me wanna La-La…

    ….if La-La means slashing my own wrists and dying a slow,painful death by bleeding out in a dirty bathtub of a run down inner city no-tell motel.

  8. maitaigrl

    Ahhh Ok Ok u got me I cannot sing!!!

  9. Tabitha

    Abortions don’t hurt, I swear!!

  10. Michelle

    If I could just open my mouth as wide as my sister, maybe Nick would want me instead.

  11. Lizzie Grumbman

    I HATE that stupid grin of hers. She is part of the dumbing down of Hollywood. What happened to real entertainers? Why have we learned to settle for “mediacrity” these past 5 years. Oh wait, of course…..It starts at the top–President Bush. Set the example and we shall follow.

  12. Shuuuuut up

    WOW!!! You mean I’m an even more talantless than before?!?! Gee Wiz!!!

  13. kitty-kat

    what are the words again?

  14. selacanto

    barrymore’s ugly twin sister, Quassimpson just managed to unlock the basement (from inside out)

  15. michelle

    she makes me want to gag gag! in the kitchen on the floor!

  16. selacanto

    did anyone notice that her enamel appears to be exceedingly compact and dense and that you can easily take her front teeth for a cottonwool nipple?

  17. antidude

    Ashlee unhinges her jaw in a show of oral ability. Within minutes, it’s synthetic squeal lures a day’s feed from surrounding nests and hidey-holes.

  18. jaime Groth

    Hurk! My Tums are caught in my throat…oh, they’re never gonna believe this acid reflux thing twice!

  19. I hate her

    I so hate this girl.

  20. Michelle

    Girly Girl>>too funny.

  21. Cheesy

    “I just KNOW I can win this belch contest!”

  22. Cynthia

    …and for the second year in a row, Asslee wins the Howdy Doody Lookalike Contest!

  23. So very

    Daddy taught me and Jess how to play the skin flute.

  24. Dirk

    Ooh yah! I can sticken the whole bratwurst in my mouth like this, yah? Dat is good? Oh yahs!

  25. ruby_Lou

    Why have these two sisters morphed into one person….are they sharing the same wardrobe.. the same bleaching kits….Ashlee has moved on from her Punk Rocker chick look now to a more poopier version

  26. “This is how I got my recording contract: no gag reflex!”

  27. TasAnnie

    Who here thinks she’s really singing?

  28. Ginger Beer

    They must have some sound recording studio to hide the real voice of “PopTart” Ashlee

  29. Well, it’s not as big as Papa’s, but I’ll try.

  30. Rob

    u people are sooo jelous get over the lip synching thing god she never lip synchs shes always sang live u can tell by how shitty she sings live. give her shit for how bad she sings not for lip synching she dosent do it. and that bitch is hot

  31. This is the same face she had when she saw Wilemer Valderrama’s dick. Teeny tiny, teeny tiny.

  32. theophobia

    Mommy Wow! I’m a big kid now!

  33. toto

    there is no cure for it.. i just cant carry out a tune

  34. J&M

    She could fit that in sideways without touching the edges… she could probably fit it in her mouth as well…

  35. dsquared

    once yah go black yah nevah go back… (pls don’t tell my daddy)…

  36. Qraig

    WOW! So that’s what it sounds like when I ‘really’ sing?!?! Ewwwww…I should stick to lipsyncing. Tee hee.

  37. MA

    Ashlee bucks the current trend with her weight gain. Hopefully she will see this caption and get herself down to a healthy 85 lbs like the other bags of bones.

  38. Boschka

    ” Gee Pat, I think I’ll buy an AAAAAAAA”

  39. WHY WHY WHY??

    WHY is this chick still around?? She contributes nothing, absolutely NOTHING!!! She can’t sing, she can’t act, and personally I think she’s ugly!

    This is what kids worship these days?

  40. mel

    Would you believe I don’t have a gag reflex? Here, let me prove it…

  41. serkan

    she is supeerrr

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