Bruce Willis Is Doing My Job

Has Bruce Willis seemed a little…odd to you in the past couple of years? Kinda saying odd things, and hanging out with his ex-wife and her much younger husband, and such? Well, now he’s in the business of gossip. And that’s MY job. Go bother Perez….wait, Bruce Willis is the one who got Perez’s server to dump him so he could take over! It’s a conspiracy! See what happens when you steal things? Bruce Willis sees an opening and tears your life apart. Er, Bruce Willis reported on how Owen Wilson’s doing since his break-up with Kate Hudson.

“I think he’s doing well,” Bruce Willis told PEOPLE Wednesday at the London premiere of his Live Free or Die Hard. “He’s the vagabond of Europe.”

Willis and Wilson, who costarred in the 1999 comedy Breakfast of Champions, caught a Rolling Stones concert in Paris on Saturday, and flew to Germany together on Sunday, where they dined at Italian restaurant Bocca di Bacco after Monday’s Berlin premiere of Willis’s movie.

It sounds like love to me. Bruce also made me intensely happy with THIS exchange:

At the Die Hard premiere in London, Willis, 52, happily signed autographs and posed for photos with fans, dismissing the idea that it’s hard to be constantly in the public eye. “There’s not any pressure at all,” he told reporters on the red carpet. “It’s fun. I have an easy job.”

That’s refreshing. I think I *heart* Bruce no matter how weird he’s getting as he gets older.