Brothel Sells

Newly “reformed” socialite/ex-convict Paris Hilton has unloaded her house of ill repute. The chandeliers are extra swingy! She sold her 1920’s-style mansion for 4.25 mil. Hopefully that included the cost of fumigation.

The home – which Hilton bought in 2004 for $2.9 million — features 3.5 bathrooms and 4 bedrooms, although one was converted into a large closet.

Actress Cameron Diaz, who lives nearby, has complained about the media attention that descended upon the neighborhood during Hilton’s jail stint.

“Paris made her bad choices, she’s going to have to deal with it, that’s her journey,” said Diaz. “She just has to get plastered all over the world. There were 10 helicopters above her house, which I live not too far from. I was like, ‘Could you please keep it down?’ We all suffer when Paris suffers.”

Oh ease up, Diaz. God knows you were havin’ loud gangbangs with Drew and assorted men after JT dumped you. Seriously though, I despise Paris but I love that bedroom made into a huge walk-in closet thing. Hot damn. Imagine being able to just breeze in and languidly pick my Old Navy hoodie for the day instead of having to pick it up off the floor from under Twisted Tea bottles and Ring-Ding wrappers? That’s what being filthy rich is all about. *sigh*