Britney’s Former Assistant Outs Her

Shannon Funk is a bitch! You know she ran to “OK!” and revealed that Britney likes the ladies, and threw her a bone by cannoodling with her soon to be fired assistant ass. Didn’t we know this? Frankly, when you’ve had that many mojitos, you could be licking anybody’s carpet and have no clue what you did the next morning. There was a certain woman at a certain fraternity party that I still need to apologize to for leading her ass on. I was drunk and just wanted to try it. Blech! I love women, but not in that way. Damn. What’s with all the hair in my mouth? Boobies are ok, though. I’m with ya, Brit! We all go to the dark side once in awhile.

A topless Britney Spears got down and dirty in a hotel pool with her former assistant Shannon Funk. The ladies cleared the hotel pool of other guests so they could enjoy kissing and fondling each other. Britney’s wild behaviour followed her topless romping with video extra Matt Encinias in the LA hotel. Britney stripped to just her knickers, hat and shades and partied with pals til 4am. But it was her blonde assistant Britney was really after and the pair ended up in bed together after frolicking in the pool.

A friend said: “Britney seemed more into this girl than she ever has been into a guy. Even though the hunks were hot, Britney made a beeline to cavort with Shannon. She seemed insatiable.

Oh fer chrissakes, it was just one of those things annoying immature teenage girls do when they want to be outrageous. Make out with your best girlfriend, oh look I gave Timmy a boner. Except that this is the behavior of a teenage girl and Britney is the MOTHER OF TWO. Get your ass out of the pool and move to a remote mountaintop getaway. Get to know your kids, and do some gardening. Only come back to L.A. for court dates. Let it die down, crazy bitch! Vanilla Ice is gonna get those kids!