Britney’s Boobs Are 100 Proof

Photos: Flynet Onilne

This mess seems suspect, but she’s real crazy so what the hell. Kevin Federline’s “girlfriend”, Nicole Narain, is talking about why Kevin Federline so desperately wants the kids away from Snack Cake. Ms. Narain claims, among other things, that Britney Spears was breast-feeding the kids while downing vodka. I wish my Mom had done that. People need to learn how to hold the liquor young! Here’s a handy checklist of what Narain has witnessed:

* CAUGHT Britney breast-feeding son Jayden, one, while DRUNK on vodka.
* FEARS her wild and erratic behaviour has “damaged” Jayden and two-year-old Sean.
* WARNED her to stop leaving the kids alone by the pool and driving them in the car without seatbelts.
* REALISED Britney is BISEXUAL after she made a pass at Nicole in a loo.

KFed allegedly told Nicole, “I’d see her walking around the house guzzling vodka and Coke and looking very tipsy. Then a few moments later, I saw her pick up Jayden and start breast-feeding him. That sent me up the wall. I yelled at her, ‘If you really wanna drink then make sure the baby gets bottled milk, not yours.’ I was terrified she was poisoning my son. But she wouldn’t listen. She never would. She treated me like one of her employees who bowed to her every whim.”

Well, you kinda were, Golddigger. Weren’t you a backup dancer or something? Know your role! Nicole also claims Britney tried to pick her ass up in “toilets at Beverly Hills restaurant Mr. Chow”. Some of this drama taking place in toilets is not a shocker.

Check out photos of Sean Preston and Jayden James out with the nanny after the jump.