Britney’s “Hold It Against Me” Is Schizo, Therefore Appropriate

Well, by now you probably saw the new video for “Hold It Against Me” by Britney Spears. At first I was terribly underwhelmed until the video reached the 2:40 mark and then it won me over, took me out for dinner and drinks, then back to its place where I gave it up.

The fight? Awesome. The paint? So Bjork-ish and fun. The editing? Seizure-inducing magnifacence.

But I can’t help but wonder if all the product placement is due to Jonas Akerlund, who also helmed the commercial heavy Gaga video for “Telephone.” Also, despite the energy of the song – Britney still barely dances and what she does is merely movement. I know she basically ruined her knee a few years ago, but it’s just sad to see her not being able to really return to that former glory. Lastly, she still appears dead inside

Her manager, uber-creepster Larry Rudolph, kinda explained the video to MTV…

“There are really two different Britneys,” he explained to MTV. “There’s a public Britney and there’s a private Britney, and they’re very different. Maybe the world doesn’t really know that – maybe those of us who do know her really well understand that, but there really are two different Britneys. Maybe at some times the two Britneys are at odds with each other; most of the time they’re not. There’s some of that going on. I think it’s also about Britney just being strong and still on top after all these years. But there’s a few different ways to look at it.”

Really? Didn’t you do a documentary about this gal when her last album came out to show us her life and have us get to know her? I argue that maybe she’s just NOT THAT DEEP.

I love me some Britney. But I think while my love is purely on an aesthetic, materialistic pop consumer level, as a person…I think I’d walk away from her at a party because she seems to be bland. I guess having two failed marriages and children before the age of 30, on top of mounds of success and ridicule does turn you into a very emotionally wary person.

Addressing reports Spears used a body double for the shoot, she admitted: “Of course, there was a body double in there that she was fighting most of the time, which is where some confusion came in. I heard some rumors that she used a body double. The reality is, she used a body double for the fight scene.”

And the photoshopping that happened…? Like this. Thanks @Joe_Stone_ for capturing that moment. Hell, PopJustice went a step further and said the video could only be improved by adding dogs.