Britney Update: All Hell Is Breakin’ Loose But It’s Ok Because The Dog Is Fine

Brit’s in some deep shit. Reports are saying that she’s being investigated by the L.A. County Department of Family and Child Services on allegations of child abuse. K-Fed’s lawyer has activated some serious shit! A hearing was held today with another scheduled for Sept. 4. Britney wasn’t present at either.

An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Present — Britney’s lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, and a lawyer from the Los Angeles County Counsel who is assigned to the dependency court.

All that’s known right now is that it’s an “active investigation” and no specifics are being reported. But it’s ok, Bri! You might be leaving your children out in the rain, but you’ve been cleared of any charges in the alleged abuse of your dogs! The puppies are all set despite your kids being allowed to play with Exacto knives near the electrical outlets. Keep reading for the dog story, and for details about how her ex-manager is on the lam from the inevitable K-Fed subpoena. Probably delivered by a man in a Mustang with bumpin’ hydraulics and fishbowl smoke coming out of it.


More photos of a partying Britney Spears are after the jump.

Reports were saying that the L.A. chapter of the SPCA were looking into Britney breaking her dog’s leg and then not putting a cast on the poor thing. Allegedly this occurred when someone was walking into a closet and stomped the little doggie’s leg.

The incident occurred when someone (no word on who) stepped on the dog’s leg (arf!) while walking into a closet.

“Wherez my pretty halter top! Dayum ya’ll it’s got curly fry grease stains on it. Git Counsuela over here to scrub this…” *sound of bone breaking and dog yelping* “Git little dawgie, Ima tryin’ to find somethin’ to wear to the club! Why you limpin’? JJ! Sean! Come play wit yer doggie’! It’s actin’ funny!”

Meanwhile, gay bastard Ryan Seacrest reported on his radio show that Brit’s ex manager Larry Rudolph is on the run from getting subpoenaed.

“He said he’s doing his best to hide from Kevin’s process server,” Ryan Seacrest, who was in contact with Rudolph over the weekend, said Monday on his KIIS-FM radio show. “He’s actually on the run. They are trying to track him down and serve him with a subpoena and they want him to appear and testify in the custody battle.”

Seacrest says that it’s obvious Rudolph is trying to be loyal to Snack Cake, and would only say he’s with his children. What a damn mess this is turning out to be. I think this is the end, my beautiful friend. And I think giving herself a wiffle was only the tip of the iceberg of crazy.