Britney Under New Management

Not that it will make much of a difference, I’m sure. Everything she touches these days turns to nasty weave and cowboy boots. However, that didn’t discourage Jeff Kwatinez of The Firm from taking on the daunting task of revamping Britney’s sorely outdated and less-than-sympathetic image. Kwatinez, who was recently let go by Kelly Clarkson, who then chose to enlist the management services of Reba McEntire’s husband and manager, Narvel Blackstock, has decided that he’s feeling confident enough in his management skills to attempt to turn Britney’s career and public persona around. Here’s a good starting point for Kwatinez: Step 1) Keep her in panties. Step 2) Don’t let her shave her legs in hotel pools. Step 3) Hide all the razors and wacky wigs.

Good luck, guy!