Britney Spears To Travel To Namibia

June 14th, 2006 // 47 Comments

She (Britney Spears) justified her choice for Namibia stating: “Kevin has always been a fan of African-American culture, I’m sure he’ll feel at home there, rapping with all the natives. Besides, there’s lots of quiet unpaved roads where Sean Preston and I can go driving.”

She continued her interview, to be aired on Thursday on the “Today show” and on Friday on “Dateline” by drawing lines between Namibia and California “because it’s on the ocean and there’s lots of sand. So if Sean Preston fell off his swing and landed on his head, there’s less chance he would be hurt and we’d have those snoops from child welfare up our butts all the time.”

Finally she admitted to choosing Namibia because of the strict laws against paparazzi – “I heard that Namibia has laws that let celebrities say whether or not journalists are allowed in the country. That’s so important, even more important than getting the same villa that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had.”

Tongue in cheek, people.

Britney Spears to Follow in Brangelina’s Footsteps []

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. casiobeat

    oh jesus – how embarrasing. “rap with all the natives?” i’m speechless.

  2. tia

    Holy Shit ! Britney is so lame I dont know what to do. Going to Nambia wont do shit .. her parenting skills still suck ass.

    “Kevin has always been a fan of African-American culture, I’m sure he’ll feel at home there, rapping with all the natives. Besides, there’s lots of quiet unpaved roads where Sean Preston and I can go driving.”

    1) Kfed rapping with the africans??!! WHAT !! Give me a break!
    2)Sean P isnt even old enough to drive. He doesnt even know what driving is. I dont care if it is a unpaved road. He is a baby and its still dangerous.
    3) Why is everyone so obsessed with being like Angie and Brad. First Jessica Simpson, Eva Longoria, and now Cheeto Spears.

    I said previously I felt sorry for her. I take that back.

  3. Danger

    Please tell me some of those comments were exaggerated


    I don t understand, is she planning to emigrate there with K Fed and children? With a bit of luck, yes, I hear you say. And why? So she can hurtle around dirt tracks in a safari jeep with SP being thrown around in the backseat, knowing that no one can pull her up on it?

    And K Fed rapping with the natives, that it hilarious, I can just picture him, deep in the jungle, surrounded by Africans, getting down.

    But what wil they do when they run out of Cheetos, and the natives realise what an arsehole K Fed is?

  5. d. c.

    Really, she is going to hide in the Sudan.. so she isn’t seen as a copycat.

  6. casiobeat

    There’s also a big cultural difference between African-Americans and NAMIBIANS. For godsakes, does she think all black people are into hip-hop? Namibia is a country that was once colonized by the Germans. You’ll hardly see American hip hop culture there.

    What an utterly ignorant comment – tinged with racial assumptions.

  7. Carson

    The expression is “tongue in cheek”, dumbass.

    And you fucktards who thought this was real – time to step away from the computer and go outside. Maybe read a book. Something.

  8. bill

    the phrase is: “tongue in cheek”

    just thought you would want to know that.

  9. bill

    Damn that Carson for beating me to the punch. (but at least I wasn;t insulting about it)

  10. carson

    Bill –
    Couldn’t help the insult. It’s a pretty funny piece of satire, but when you see how all these morons take it at face value and get on their high horse (“racial assumptions”!) , well, you understand how Bush got elected. Twice.


    Tongue in cheek, whatever.

    Its hilarious, rapping with the natives, I love it. Its just the sort of thing I can imagine her saying, in all seriousness. This is the woman who latched onto Kaballah or whatever its called because she probably liked the bit of string they all wear on their wrists and then decided that the baby was her religion, so Kaballah bit the dust. And that frigging photo of her thats attached to the post. She looks as stupid as a bag of rocks.

  12. anonymous

    It shows how smart you have to be to sell the crap they have at Express.

  13. I have to drop a note here.

    If this is a true quote, Britney Spears is an absolute dunce. Please, I beg you Britney, just shut up.

  14. Carson

    Ortem – Get smarter.

  15. Whoops! Just saw the “Tongue in cheek people” part.

    Evil! :-)

  16. anonymous

    It shows how smart you have to be to sell the crap they have at Express.

  17. Anni

    Those are some ample thighs Brit has going on there. I’d want to hide somewhere too with pics of those big legs all over the place.

  18. King Smart Ian

    anonymous – great reference!

  19. las

    Apparently redneck hicks think all black people are alike. That there is no cultural difference between African-AMERICANS, most of whom are descended from generations who lived in the US and had their particular struggles and triumphs, and AFRICANS, who have had their in their OWN lands!

    “The natives.” Rapping. How quaint. It’s all so very Victorian, isn’t it, talking with the little natives?

    After having Brad and Angie there, with their giant donations and friendly behavior, this can only be a letdown for that country. I hope the Namibians throw rotten fruit at these two. On second thought, it’s a waste of rotten fruit.

    And she’s actually saying that she wants a place where SPF can be fatally endangered, but nobody will bother his “good mother”? She really is dumb as a hammer.

    And on the shallow side, she looks like a fat sow in that picture. Her thighs appear to be as big as her head… each.

  20. katie

    I can’t believe these comments.

    How could you possibly believe this, even without “tongue in cheek” being written after the fake article?

    Wow. Scary.

  21. las

    It’s rotten taste even to JOKE about that sort of thing. Especially since I’m sure she’s stupid enough to do all those things.

    But as the pictures show, taste isn’t her strong point.

  22. draya

    Hee, hee, hee, Socialite! you kill me! Hilarious!

    Sorry, I forgot how to spell your name, Mieu? Damn me! Love you regardless.

  23. tia

    Anonymous .. I work at Express. :(

  24. casiobeat

    Dear Carson. I believe you are the fucktard. Britney actually said those things. Cynicism and satire are hardly Britney traits. She seems rather sincere in her belief that K-Fed will rap with the natives. And if it is cyncism, it does not across well in written form.

    Secondly, I voted for Kerry, Gore and campaigned for Bill Bradley. How you got that Republican assumption is beyond me.

    Thirdly, I lived in Namibia for several years. I hate to break it to you, but you will not find many “rapping natives” there.

  25. ger

    casiobea, it’s time to give it up. Please don’t give Democrats a bad name – just laugh along wih the rest of us. It’s one thing to misread an article, it’s a whole other thing to wallow in that misunderstanding.

  26. dustin

    The stupidity of some of you gullible idiots is astounding.

    If you think this is real, then i have a cure for cancer i’d like to sell you.

  27. kendall44

    She’d show Namibians what an “Ugly American” is.

  28. Suck

    “Kevin has always been a fan of African-American culture, I’m sure he’ll feel at home there, rapping with all the natives.”

    HAHAHAHA! that was funny!lol K-Fug rapping with all the natives..hahaha

  29. urbancowgrl

    I wonder if she meant rapping as in chatting/talking and notthe kind of rapping in songs.

  30. las

    No, dustin. The idiot here is Britney — let’s face it, if she weren’t a dumb hick, would people think that this was plausible? Get real.

  31. doofus

    to anonymous…

    I’m with King Smart Ian…EXCELLENT REFERENCE.

  32. Carson

    Casio –
    Let’s review and do your best to keep up.

    This is a satirical piece. That means it’s made up. It has a little fun with the fact that Britney is such an idiot, it almost seems plausible that she couls have said these things.

    Still with me? Want to pause to look up “plausible”?

    My Bush reference was comment on the fact that so many morons believe whatever they hear, without evaluating the content. Like the tards who think WMDs were found in Iraq. Or the dipsticks like you who are unable to recognize a satirical web posting.

  33. anonymous

    Perhaps another management trainee candidate for Express?

  34. doofus

    anon, yer KILLIN’ me!

  35. Small Fry

    Geez people! Do you have to bring Bush into every post? Grow up and get over it. You all whine like a bunch of little bitches.

  36. kw

    pathetic! i am convinced this girl needs help!
    get a backbone..britney says the paparazzi has gone to far but she is in the spotlight. nobody feels sorry for this chick see what the real world has to deal with every day!

  37. tia

    Oh I get it anonymous and Doofus are the bitches you go to high school. They talk shit about everyone because they know the ppl they talk about cant do crap about it. Real nice. I may the youngest poster on here, but apparently im more mature. Do I ever talk shit to you? Do I ever start this shit? No. I never say shit to anyone on here then you insult my job. Serioulsy I dont care how many people bash me after this fuck the both of you. Thats sad you sit here at a fucking computer and talk irrelevant bull crap about someone you dont fucking know. It doesnt take a genius to know that this shit is immature, but whatever. I guess I should take my ignorant illiterate ass somewhere else oh and learn some grammar skills right?! Whatever bitches.

  38. Lisa

    Tia you are not ignorant. You say things that are a little out there lol, but its okay we all do. Doofus and Anon just think their perfect. Their self righteous sluts who sit here and talk about people just like you said. For those two no one on here can have an opinion. We are entitled to free speech, but apparently they forgot that. You say one thing then here comes Doofus to talk her shit. Their lame Tia. I like you and Express rocks.

  39. Joshua

    Hey anonymous and doofus, stfu okay. Talking about people is lame. Its worse when your on the fucking internet talking about someone you dont know. Thats what losers do, but im sure you know that.

  40. doofus

    heh, heh, heh…

  41. LimitedInc

    Tia you are the BEST candidate for Express. Thats why they picked you girl. I cant wait til KT leaves. I know you’ll make Express fun. Hey Doofus, yea keep laughing lil girl. Come back when you grow up.

  42. LimitedInc

    Tia you are the BEST candidate for Express. Thats why they picked you girl. I cant wait til KT leaves. I know you’ll make Express fun. Hey Doofus, yea keep laughing lil girl. Come back when you grow up.

  43. doofus

    almost forgot…

    see lisa, because I’m “perfect”, I’ll give you a little lesson.

    you can have an opinion on here, but if you post it, expect that someone ELSE might have an opinion on YOUR opinion. See how that works? and since we’re all entitled to free speech (as you pointed out), I am entitled to write what I want to.

    “self righteous sluts”? how is you calling us that any different than us talking (SILLY, HARMLESS) crap about tia?

    one more thing…

    the plural 3rd person for the verb “to be” is “they’re”, not “their”.

    perhaps you should be working at Express, too.

    (lighten up! it was a joke…)

  44. anonymous

    I don’t know about perfect, but I don’t have “gullible” written on my forehead (or Express nametag) in three different languages.

  45. Ella

    Boy, Brit. I haven’t been to med school or anything but I didn’t think babies were stored in the chin prior to being birthed. Better slow down on the Cheetos.

  46. 3buckchuck

    I think K-Fed in Namibia just might have the government there regretting they ever played host to Jolie-Pitt (and J-P regretting they ever told anyone about the place). I can see Kevin and his enTHUGtourage acting a fool now.

    I’m already embarrassed.

  47. blessilicious


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