Britney Spears Might Be Getting Her Shit Together

August 29th, 2007 // 5 Comments


“Whattya mean the kid drank all my voddy? He’s jist asleep! Do ya’ll got any dark chocolate M&M’s?” Could there be SOME sort of glimmer of light for the one fan she has left? Could there be hope? Britney’s reportedly going to be releasing her new single “Gimme More” next week and sources are saying it’s not half-bad. She had an actual producer and not just Alli Simms pressing play on the tape recorder and then cueing up the “bongos” function on the synthesizer. If you listen closely you can hear a child screaming in hunger in the background!

A source who’s heard the single says it’s called ”Gimme More,” an up-tempo club cut produced by Timbaland protégé Nate ”Danjahandz” Hills (Justin Timberlake, T.I.). ”Gimme More” was also reported as the name of the music video that Spears was spotted shooting in July. (Representatives for Jive, Spears’ label, did not return calls seeking comment.)

”People are going to love [the new single],” raved the source. ”It’s like when Justin came back [with FutureSex/LoveSounds] — she’s got a whole new sound. She’s funky.”

Oh, she’s funky all right. You know that “source” is her cleaning lady. I am so changing my name to “Jazzhandz” or maybe “Fagolahandz”. That’s a hot handle. Keep reading for even more evidence that Brit might be trying to do this right.

More photos of Britney Spears are after the jump as well.

Reports are saying that Brit is taking her opening performance at the VMA’s very seriously. She’s snagged a Madonna choreographer. That bitch will make her work!

Britney Spears has hired Madonna’s former choreographer R.J. Durell to make sure her much-hyped MTV Video Music Awards performance is a real showstopper.

The Toxic singer is rumoured to be opening the VMAs on September 9, and now online reports suggest she’s taking her performance very seriously.

Brit has been working with this queen for a couple of weeks. My big fear in this is that she’s going to come out and get booed. Anything could happen with her at this point. Her mothering skills could result in her focusing on her performance while letting her children crawl in the rafters high above the stage and accidentally releasing sandbags to fall and kill backup dancers. Good performance, but I’m sorry your kid killed Starla.


By J. Harvey

  1. T-Bone

    I hope to high heavens she does get her sh*t together! And I certainly hope she shocks everyone and does a great job at the MTV awards. I Still think she’s a good girl with a good heart (although currently a mess).

  2. jenny

    Britney looks like a female wrestler in that full length pic.

  3. Cat

    Where is her pant or shorts, that not a dress, but a doll top?!

  4. I read that Tricky was originally holding that Umbrella tune for Brit but she flaked on him. If true, Bad call!

    I would rather Brit put more effort into being a mother than a comeback though.

  5. nymphetomine

    Who even cares anymore??? She’s a washed up, wasted shithead who can’t take care of her sons or pets. Does anyone really want a comeback?? Well I’d get a good laugh at least. Die quickly, Britney.

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