Britney Spears Has Been Doping in Her Fight Against Mr. Sandman

“Everything’s going to be OK,” I imagine that’s the phrase poor Britney Spears has to keep reciting to herself over and over to keep from just going ape-shit and shaving off head and beating us all with umbrellas again–that is, if she could stay awake long enough to do so. Britney’s been needing some extra help these days, just to keep her eyes open. Paparazzi managed to sneak a photo inside Britney’s open purse the other day, revealing that the starlet was carrying around Provigil. The prescription drug is given to patients who are either suffering from extreme sleepiness throughout the day or downright narcolepsy. However, Dr. Mark Milstein, a neuroligist based in New York, assured Us Weekly that it’d not addictive.

“This medication won’t give you a ‘high,’ like a stimulant would.”

Back in the day, when I was working a boring office job, all I needed was a constant IV of coffee and some paperclips to prop my eyes open because I hate taking medication. It makes you look crazy, unlike my subtle method.

Photos: WENN