Mess Might Have Hit

Eyes of the purest blue! They’re hypnotizing me! And making me want to lose my children. And my underwear! The juxtaposition of the fake retinas and that maize colored patch hat is making me queasy. Despite all odds, critics are saying Britney Spears might have a hit on her hands with her new disc “Blackout”. It’s like that theory that says if you leave a monkey alone in a room with a typewriter it will eventually write Shakespeare. But in this case, leave a trashbag in a room with enough Ho-Ho’s and coke to last the night and Pro Tools.

Now Spears is hoping that the release of “Blackout,” her first studio album in four years on October 30, will revive her reputation. The album has already produced “Gimme More,” which topped U.S. digital charts and critics expect a hit.

But some critics who have heard her latest opus say the album’s likely success has little to with her abilities and more to do with the producers.

The New York Daily News noted all the “studio trickery” made her sound like a “Brit-Bot” machine.

“If a blow-up sex doll could sing, this is what she’d sound like,” wrote Jim Farber. “In terms of studio trickery, Paris Hilton’s album was practically ‘unplugged’ compared to this.”

Well said, Mr. Farber. It doesn’t matter. It’s the world we live in. I’m gonna end up buying her damn album on iTunes and listening to it in the car when there’s no one around. The Geico cavemen got their own TV show. Paris Hilton’s filming a reality tv show in Rwanda. It’s just the hellish world we live in.