Looking Good, Feeling Great

A friend of Britney Spears has aired out Britney’s panty problem. Jewelry designer and Britney pal Tuesday Knight (no, really) spoke to “In Touch Weekly” about the genesis of Britney’s lack of squirrel covers and how she likes her ladybits to breathe.

“I love Britney — adore her — but she brings a lot of it on herself” Tuesday said, and went on to explain that parading around panty-free started as prank between LiLo, Paris and Brit. “I’ve heard (them) talk about how they shock Hollywood just for the fun of it. They were discussing how they could play a little joke on all of us.”

It’s not all fun and games, though. Tuesday’s alarmed that her famous friend’s revealing habit is sabotaging her image as a mom. “Britney has always been a good mother,” she insisted. “I want people to know that she’s the better parent — not Kevin! (Britney) asked me, ‘Doesn’t anybody get to see this part of me?’ The answer is, no, they don’t. People just read about her not wearing underwear.”

No one sees that part of you because your wooka is overshadowing it! Put some pants on! You’re not five! You’re not a cute little toddler at the beach! There’s nothing childlike about you except for maybe your IQ! If “jewelry designers” named Tuesday Knight think you’re screwing up, chances are it’s true! You are banned from Starbuck’s until you collect yourself!