Britney Spears To Fill The Pews At Mel Gibson’s Church With Her Beautiful Singing Voice

March 24th, 2008 // 11 Comments

I am so in line for this one. Get me my good Sunday hat, and a fan. I need to be front and center for this songbird. Britney Spears is allegedly rehearsing to sing at Mel Gibson’s church. Mel is supposedly helping her ass “rediscover God.” How about rediscovering a stylist or a trained psychiatric professional or some alone time? Then we’ll get to church.

Britney and Mel will agree on an “appropriate” set of songs, and she is due to perform at a service in late April. They should have done it yesterday; I seriously would want to see how the churchgoers would handle her slutty Easter bunny outfit. C’mon, it might be church but this is Britney. They’d be lucky if she put on a pair of drawers.

Mel runs The Holy Family Catholic Church in Malibu, and Britney might even debut a new song! They’ve had a couple of meetings in the last month, and Mel has supposedly become a “mentor” to her.

You know there’s something fishy going on here. Once he determines there’s not anyone Jewish in her family, he’s going straight for that ass. Some guys like crazy broads who will do anything for a daddy.

By J. Harvey

  1. rebecca

    so you think she needs a stylish and someone to talk to before she finds god??? wow god help the people that think like you–no wonder why this world is full of crap!

  2. 2 Old 4 This

    ooohhhh right

    cuz this site is called “The Pious Life”

    was there some kind of upgrade over the weekend?

  3. Jbo

    Ummmm, that will be interesting….

    Ms. Extra Extra church is in
    God wants a piece of me
    Ms. Lifestyle of a pious religion
    God wants a piece of me

    Insert sexy breathing.

    That will be some service I tells ya!

  4. T-Bone

    I’m not a giant fan of organized religion, because I think it sometimes fools us into thinking we can’t have a DIRECT relationship with God; however, this could be a good thing for Britney. It might help her tap into something deeper and more meaningful. If she can incorporate that into her music….well, who knows? Could be good. Maybe she can get away from the pop/trashy music thing.

  5. rebecca

    “too old for this” might want to find something better to do with his mature life than complaining about twenty something poptarts!

  6. 2 Old 4 This

    Duly noted rebecca

    sorry to disrupt your perusal of the erudite commentary that ASL is famous for

    but remember what they say when you assume

  7. rebecca

    i love how you just sounded all educated with that comment! thanks for bringin a little fun to the page=)

  8. ;o

    No Rebecca, she needed to rediscover something that would make her look and think normally before finding god.

    Because the last time she stumbled into church, she was wearing her kfed wedding dress, and high as a kite, carrying a little Asian on her arm.

    Having religion forced down your throat because you dont think its necessarily important, No wonder the world is full of crap.

  9. Loob

    Organized Religion does move in fast on the weak.
    I have witnessed people who were depressed and confused get basically abducted into the cult-like mentality of certain organized religions. It made their lives worse.
    In Britney’s case, she needs a shrink, and once she’s all better THEN she can join a church, if she feels like it.

    And Mel can sleaze his repugnant ass back under the nearest rock. That’s just a good idea in general.

  10. ll

    going to church will be good for britney

  11. Bethany

    Going to this church will not be good for Brit. This is a cult. Please beware.

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